That's cool, Bill.
What are the asterisks? Something strange there - the last verse has
italics for the final quote (from an undertaker's TV ad). 'It's a game of
millimetres' comes from Mark Taylor commenting on the Third Test at
Egdaston (cricket).
As for reading it in a linear sense, it is just the limitations that
written language has that has baffled me. I swapped the order around a few
times - but I tried to go for the 'life' beginning and then its chance
development - a game of millitmitres - to the final somewhat cynical use of
an undertaker's commercial slogan.
Clear as mud, hey :-)
Any other thoughts, folks?
Andrew
On 1 August 2015 at 20:59, Bill Wootton <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
> Andrew, I find it hard to make connections between the stanzas. The
> opening may get legs but seems to lurch somewhere else in stanza 2, a footy
> reference? And by the 3rd, the introduction of 'we' makes me wonder: is the
> poem taking a didactic bent? By the 4th, I didn't know what game was in
> your sights - life? footy again? both? St first I misread 'complete' as
> 'compete'. And then those asterisks in the 5th?
>
> The reason I didn't reply at first was because I didn't get it. I still
> don't but you insisted! And my team, Collingwood went down this arvo at the
> G. Sorry if I have misread everything.
>
> Bill
>
> > On 31 Jul 2015, at 12:46 am, Andrew Burke <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
> >
> > I'd love some feedback on the following, if you have time.
> >
> > .....
> >
> > Life is a hit album,
> >
> > concept pending.
> >
> >
> >
> > As spring dusts off
> >
> > the holding yards,
> >
> > North stays steady in a storm.
> >
> >
> >
> > We plan
> >
> > but rarely complete.
> >
> >
> >
> > It’s a game of millimetres,
> >
> > of a bee’s tit. Where
> >
> > you came from
> >
> >
> >
> > takes you to where
> >
> > you go: *turn *
> >
> > *to us with confidence.*
> >
> >
> >
> > - Andrew Burke
> >
>
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