Wanting this to take on the aura of the distant past as with earlier poems,
I gleaned a little, and there built up some sense of the watcher
and the tallyman both.
‘like a fisherman...'
‘like one harvesting / with a scythe’
give me that pleasure, and an imaginative touch.
also ‘as boys at harps’.
And ‘as a mouse or familiar’.
Four similes, pleasing in themselves, and suggesting the way Elidius responds.
(their line - might as well be his line?
dexterous dextrous
and whom I assume who)
On Jan 23, 2015, at 2:02 AM, Lawrence Upton <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
> Elidius
>
> I watched one tallying today. By the dock.
>
> He was superb; managing three boats, five men,
>
> with a charcoal stick against the white-washed stone.
>
> Each of the labourers had a different pace,
>
> doubtless intending to outwit him; he was good.
>
> He saw, I guess, a line that no one drew,
>
> a line for each man working. When each crossed
>
> their line, he marked it, black on white, boldly,
>
> dividing attention, without it slackening,
>
> like a fisherman landing prey or guards on watch;
>
> and at the fifth in every case, he cut
>
> through the previous four, like one harvesting
>
> with a scythe, in one movement which could only
>
> be extended to mark uprights elsewhere
>
> as fast and as dexterous as boys at harps.
>
> Only now I think he was left-handed.
>
> They wanted to cheat him. They didn't dare.
>
> He took no part in further operation.
>
> The counted sacks, crates and bottles were snatched
>
> by other men, whom I assume owned them,
>
> as a mouse or familiar takes what it can get.
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