Ah, well then, it does a fine job as it, although I guess you want those words smashed up together to be separated at least?
Bothering about such a small material aspect ames us away from the actual words moving along in the piece. And they did a good job. I think you can ( we can’t) force any reader to take exactly what we think they should. I ended up fastening onto those two phrases because they seemed to demonstrate the general ‘mood’ of it as I was getting it. Not suggesting they are the all omit but rather that they focused my particular reading...
Doug
On Dec 11, 2014, at 9:57 AM, Lawrence Upton <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
> Not necessarily. There's all kinds of things going on. Maybe they didn't
> work. That'd explain them not being obvious.
>
> If you really wanted I could send the text with the line breaks marked with
> a slash...
>
> I'd hate to force my poetry. We should all be consenting adults.
>
> btw I think I just saw Patrick coming out of someone else's house looking
> very pleased with himself
>
> L
>
>
>
>
>
> On 11 December 2014 at 16:25, Douglas Barbour <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
>
>> Of curse, Lawrence.
>>
>> My fingers apparently wanted a different word than I did, I meant
>> 'lineation' in my second point... thought the doubled words were where line
>> breaks had been intended...
>>
>> Doug
>> On Dec 11, 2014, at 5:08 AM, Lawrence Upton <[log in to unmask]>
>> wrote:
>>
>>> I don't think that I am in any position to agree or disagree, Doug; but I
>>> wouldn't argue; it sounds reliable.
>>> I was most concerned with covering a different kind of visual-audio
>>> situation than I have covered!
>>>
>>> On your other point, there is some unexpected ideation there for sure;
>> but
>>> I'm not sure that is connected with its being verse or prose. (Bit of
>> both,
>>> I suggest.)
>>>
>>> best
>>>
>>> L
>>>
>>> On 10 December 2014 at 17:54, Douglas Barbour <[log in to unmask]>
>> wrote:
>>>
>>>> Our names are transient. & The ground is crumbling. those seem central
>> to
>>>> my reading Lawrence. How the rest falls off & away from these.
>>>>
>>>> I wondered about ideation when I saw some of those words together, but
>> was
>>>> more or less reading it as a kind of prose poem. It certainly seems to
>>>> resonate with the news of these days, but digs into psyches that
>> generally
>>>> withhold...
>>>>
>>>> Doug
>>>> On Dec 10, 2014, at 8:03 AM, Lawrence Upton <[log in to unmask]>
>>>> wrote:
>>>>
>>>>> It appears to have played hell with the lineation; but I'm not sure
>> that
>>>>> much matters much here. It's extremely loose & prosy
>>>>>
>>>>> On 10 December 2014 at 14:43, Sheila Murphy <[log in to unmask]>
>>>> wrote:
>>>>>
>>>>>> Lawrence, as I always do, I admire this piece. One thing that I
>> observed
>>>>>> further was my own desire to rearrange passages, because this works so
>>>> many
>>>>>> ways. In fact, moving such passages around reveals different types of
>>>>>> "story" plus perceptive power. I think that speaks to the integrity of
>>>> what
>>>>>> you have written.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Sheila
>>>>>>
>>>>>> On Wed, Dec 10, 2014 at 7:33 AM, Lawrence Upton <
>>>> [log in to unmask]>
>>>>>> wrote:
>>>>>>
>>>>>>> The street is a dream. Show us the accolade. It isn't mundane.
>>>>>>> Desirous of worldly freedoms, we're cold. Can you fancy that?
>>>>>>> At the bar, we're issued with an almanac. Our cloaks are elusivein
>>>>>>> which we can injure you as non-participant in nightmare.
>>>>>>> This gallery, you see the place?, is the innermost of which we are
>>>>>>> the publicists; we are resentful. The obstructionists, that's what
>>>>>>> they say, are crackers:the crackers obstructionists reign. It's not
>>>>>>> cranky.
>>>>>>> The almanac is endless; its peculiarity is dishonesty; and the
>>>>>>> dishonesty ubiquitous.
>>>>>>> The street is a dream. It is the quintessence, that is, it is the
>> core
>>>>>>> the crux the essence, he said, turning the pages of the folio which
>>>>>>> encourage us to deviate.
>>>>>>> He took a sip from his half-full glass.Of what? we asked. I am
>>>>>>> inclined, he said, to clasp any machination to obtain respite.
>>>>>>> At the bar, they tend to be frankand each a truant from the truth. We
>>>>>>> usually join in.
>>>>>>> The cretin sets out to consume the image which gives him or her
>>>>>>> succour though furtively. What is there?
>>>>>>> Blood may clot, a beak may enter the outer skinof the weather, and we
>>>>>>> may flunk. We clasp the blockhead secret, the wandering sprite. We
>>>>>>> clasp and crush, by accident, the coincidental; it's galling he's so
>>>>>>> cocky.
>>>>>>> Clasp hold of the boom, he says, just listen to it, puzzling over the
>>>>>>> carnal. He is a boor. It's the booze that sends him wayfaring
>>>>>>> furtively. We watch his decay, giving him a nourishment and support.
>>>>>>> We clasp hold of esprit de corps, he says. What the fuck? What the
>>>>>>> fuck.
>>>>>>> I sleep, he says, I plumb the wolf in me. It is meaningless he is so
>>>>>>> cocky. Distribute the bill, he calls, distribute the bill. His
>>>>>>> identity is his loftiness. We are sorrowful. Christ, it is freezing,
>>>>>>> he shouts, and slowly, word by word.Do not cause me to hurt you, you
>>>>>>> stickler. Our names are transient.
>>>>>>> We clasp the area of his puzzling, finding it inadequate.The street
>> is
>>>> a
>>>>>>> dream?
>>>>>>> The bricks are ardent. What is that? The sky lightweight; stop
>>>>>>> commenting, there's no need to explain. The vine cannot grow here.
>>>>>>> There is no community. We are dependent, he says, on inferior trivia.
>>>>>>> The dignitary has no substance and his journey is nearly worthless.
>>>>>>> The houses band to gossip. This makes it peaceful and not at all
>>>>>>> emotional. In one eye, just below it, a tear, or perhaps a fold of
>> the
>>>>>>> supposed reality. Do not belittle the pot belly. Do not be
>>>>>>> belligerent. Cross the bridge. And deign to the confusion. The world
>>>>>>> of fairy is hypothetical.The fraud is okayish.
>>>>>>> coquette - book - crush - ecstasy - come together
>>>>>>> apprehension - conference - exclusive - bawdy --absent - animal -
>>>>>>> active --come together
>>>>>>> The pavement is an augury, outrage of reason, cold-hearted,
>> impossible
>>>>>>> inferno, booze, smooth visions of the edge in direct inoperative
>>>>>>> botching.The ground is crumbling.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>
>>>> Douglas Barbour
>>>> [log in to unmask]
>>>>
>>>> Recent publications: (With Sheila E Murphy) Continuations &
>> Continuation 2
>>>> (UofAPress).
>>>> Recording Dates (Rubicon Press).
>>>>
>>>> that we are only
>>>> as we find out we are
>>>>
>>>> Charles Olson
>>>>
>>>
>>
>> Douglas Barbour
>> [log in to unmask]
>>
>> Recent publications: (With Sheila E Murphy) Continuations & Continuation 2
>> (UofAPress).
>> Recording Dates (Rubicon Press).
>>
>> that we are only
>> as we find out we are
>>
>> Charles Olson
>>
>
Douglas Barbour
[log in to unmask]
Recent publications: (With Sheila E Murphy) Continuations & Continuation 2 (UofAPress).
Recording Dates (Rubicon Press).
that we are only
as we find out we are
Charles Olson
|