Like for Pat, L, the opening two stanzas work best for me. Notion of drowning in soaked air new and arresting image. The intrusion of 'one' thereafter, distances the observations. Kind of like the metaphor of fields of fragmented trust but I get lost. Could just be me.
B
> On 4 Dec 2014, at 7:31 am, Patrick McManus <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
>
> Thanks for that L I particularly the first two verses a poem in itself (for
> me!) I get a bit lost after that .................
> P
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Poetryetc: poetry and poetics [mailto:[log in to unmask]] On
> Behalf Of Lawrence Upton
> Sent: 03 December 2014 12:56
> To: [log in to unmask]
> Subject: ELIDIUS in exile pursues knowledge
>
> The opaque mist grabs,
>
> gas, wet, slow, spreading uneasily.
>
> .
>
> It is the sea in other form.
>
> One might drown walking
>
> on bleak stones, under
>
> soaked air, above ocean.
>
>
>
> One would observe with great clarity.
>
> Were it not for being Earth-held,
>
> one might think how the fragments join
>
> where Man is not confused by trust
>
> in what is known of the drying world's base.
>
> It rolls itself out all over,
>
> leaving everything damp. It kills,
>
> with its grave cold. Never far off.
>
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