Thanks Patrick, Bill and Doug
Elidius is not the clearest writer; and there is always the worry that one
hasn't his text accurately.
I don't think it is trust that is directly fragmented, I don't think that's
in the syntax; though once anything important is seen to be fragmented it
is likely that trust will follow. He's not being clear
I don't see that he says what he is talking about as such... He's up to his
neck in the for him inexpressible
He is aware of what is underneath him which seems to be for him Hadean; but
he doesn't seem to be aware of what it is precisely, just sees himself
vulnerable between for want of better words heaven and hell. You say it
well, in general, Doug, desire to be above it all & knowing its
impossibility.
Sometimes I believe he sees himself as a kind of Aristotle, always
observing, always thinking; and here as yet unused to his exile he's just
trying to get somewhere, get something done. But he can't do it! (Sounds
familiar to me. ) Hence all that stuff after the turn into the octave.
The change of person from first to third is of course him and not his
'umble scribe
He's quite often thought of dogs at such times - he's lonely - but I can't
make the poems behave usually
I may see if I can set another dog one free
Thanks for your attention. It's very helpful. Having made my case, I must
now think how far I may have let myself down with the poem writing! On we
roll
L
L
On 3 December 2014 at 22:40, Bill Wootton <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
> Whoops, you're right, Doug. Perhaps I missed it because I was so taken by
> the 'might drown' bit. I now see it is the 'would observe' that seems to
> add distance. But I am an E newbie.
>
> B
>
>
> > On 4 Dec 2014, at 8:11 am, Douglas Barbour <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
> >
> > One is already there in the 2nd stanza, Bill. And I take that to be how
> E's meditational practice works, especially when out's all he has in such a
> place.
> >
> > I get that feeling, & the utterness of his situation, nicely, Lawrence.
> Feel the need for it all. Especially that desire to be above it all &
> knowing its impossibility, no such vision granted him then...
> >
> > Doug
> >> On Dec 3, 2014, at 1:55 PM, Bill Wootton <[log in to unmask]>
> wrote:
> >>
> >> Like for Pat, L, the opening two stanzas work best for me. Notion of
> drowning in soaked air new and arresting image. The intrusion of 'one'
> thereafter, distances the observations. Kind of like the metaphor of fields
> of fragmented trust but I get lost. Could just be me.
> >>
> >> B
> >>
> >>
> >>> On 4 Dec 2014, at 7:31 am, Patrick McManus <
> [log in to unmask]> wrote:
> >>>
> >>> Thanks for that L I particularly the first two verses a poem in itself
> (for
> >>> me!) I get a bit lost after that .................
> >>> P
> >>>
> >>> -----Original Message-----
> >>> From: Poetryetc: poetry and poetics [mailto:[log in to unmask]]
> On
> >>> Behalf Of Lawrence Upton
> >>> Sent: 03 December 2014 12:56
> >>> To: [log in to unmask]
> >>> Subject: ELIDIUS in exile pursues knowledge
> >>>
> >>> The opaque mist grabs,
> >>>
> >>> gas, wet, slow, spreading uneasily.
> >>>
> >>> .
> >>>
> >>> It is the sea in other form.
> >>>
> >>> One might drown walking
> >>>
> >>> on bleak stones, under
> >>>
> >>> soaked air, above ocean.
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>> One would observe with great clarity.
> >>>
> >>> Were it not for being Earth-held,
> >>>
> >>> one might think how the fragments join
> >>>
> >>> where Man is not confused by trust
> >>>
> >>> in what is known of the drying world's base.
> >>>
> >>> It rolls itself out all over,
> >>>
> >>> leaving everything damp. It kills,
> >>>
> >>> with its grave cold. Never far off.
> >>>
> >>
> >
> > Douglas Barbour
> > [log in to unmask]
> >
> > Recent publications: (With Sheila E Murphy) Continuations & Continuation
> 2 (UofAPress).
> > Recording Dates (Rubicon Press).
> >
> > that we are only
> > as we find out we are
> >
> > Charles Olson
> >
>
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