When we had a dog, nobody had to pass it blame to the mutt. He was
unmistakably himself. As for cats, have no idea whether that's part of
their repertoire.
It's a fun read, Max--the perfect tone. No, I did not say perfect whiff!
ken
On 9/10/2014 1:18 PM, Max Richards wrote:
> Who Let Off?
>
> ‘Did you let off?’ That’s what
> we boys would ask in class
>
> when a whiff of flatulence
> spread from someone’s short pants
>
> and merged with the pong -
> our roomful of teenage bodies
>
> in after lunch and a sweating
> half-hour chasing a ball
>
> over short-trimmed grass, or
> bouncing ball in the fives-courts.
>
> Flatulence? we didn’t know
> the word, nor do I recall
>
> the word fart at school.
> Some genteel inhibition
>
> from home censored the word.
> Dad, if he thought his fart
>
> had been overheard, muttered
> Pardon. A burp, and you’d
>
> hear Excuse me. Aunt Maria
> would say: eating that, dear,
>
> would only bring on wind. Yet,
> at school a prolonged burp
>
> was a comic accomplishment
> provoking rival attempts
>
> and claims to be champion.
> Before lunch, our room’s
>
> acoustics had us all over-hearing
> someone’s tummy-rumbling.
>
> How long till lunch-break, sir?
> Few of us had wrist-watches.
>
> Not till serving in the Army -
> eighteen-year-old conscripts -
>
> did I hear, after lights-out
> in our long dormitory sheds
>
> of parallel grey-blanketed beds,
> the art of prolonged farting.
>
> Who let off? someone with brothers
> or years away at school, boarding.
>
> I’m lying here in the dark room
> by my wife. Her quiet exhalation
>
> says she’s asleep; the dogs on their beds
> just beyond ours are quiet.
>
> Can I quietly let off? or if
> on her next inhalation a whiff
>
> from me reaches her, can I shift
> the blame to a dog, and be let off?
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