Thanks, L. Perhaps you are on to something. I think I wanted to suggest that the tray truck was hurtling towards the speaker - and remained in view for a good while - and IT seemed to be the irresponsible one, not any driver, who you only see for a fraction of a second while they whizz by. But this doesn't really come across, and is a fairly daft idea anyway, so I suppose a better option would be something like:
A truck rattles towards me,
its driver not caring to take
two wheels into the rough
B
> On 20 Aug 2014, at 7:55 pm, Lawrence Upton <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
>
> Surely "not caring to" means he doesn't do it
>
> isn't it "he takes" or "it takes" depending on how youre playing truck /
> driver syntactically
>
> or a comma after caring - but you probably wouldnt want that
>
> or not
>
> L
>
>
>
>
>
>
>> On 19 August 2014 22:37, Bill Wootton <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
>>
>> On Jealous Street
>>
>> A truck rattles towards me
>> not caring to take two wheels
>> into the rough
>>
>> so I swerve off bitumen
>> noting his passing tray
>> piled high with pineapples.
>>
>>
>> Laser removal
>>
>> Now thou
>> inkless
>> naked form
>> bears
>> closer inspection.
>
|