Oh, I foolishly misread 'footfall' as 'football'! Not once, but a number of
times! Ha ha ha ... It's me beady old eyes deceiving me, without benefit of
intelligence.
Sorry! No wonder I was confused ...
Andrew
On 20 August 2014 18:10, David Bircumshaw <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
> Am now slightly turning towards excising the second 'still' but not yet
> wholly convinced :) Hard life, poetry, innit?
>
>
> On 20 August 2014 08:30, David Bircumshaw <[log in to unmask]>
> wrote:
>
> > Football Andrew?!!! I think not :)
> >
> > Still have a primitive fondness for the still though :)
> >
> > David
> >
> >
> > On 20 August 2014 04:52, Andrew Burke <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
> >
> >> Well, I'm a little lost - the football reference threw me sideways away
> >> from battle and/or space ... But still I like the movement and sound of
> it
> >> (without the 'still' :-) ))
> >>
> >> I'll just read it later - in a different mood, in a different room ...
> >>
> >> Andrew
> >>
> >>
> >> On 20 August 2014 08:12, David Bircumshaw <[log in to unmask]>
> >> wrote:
> >>
> >> > Thanks Sheila. that might be a good idea, although I'm still thinking
> >> on it
> >> > :)
> >> >
> >> >
> >> > On 19 August 2014 23:07, Sheila Murphy <[log in to unmask]>
> wrote:
> >> >
> >> > > I really like this, David. Tiny suggestions would be to remove the
> >> second
> >> > > "still" (final stanza line 3) for effect.
> >> > >
> >> > > Great work! Sheila
> >> > >
> >> > >
> >> > > On Tue, Aug 19, 2014 at 3:00 PM, Bill Wootton <
> >> [log in to unmask]>
> >> > > wrote:
> >> > >
> >> > > > Moving, David. I get the gratitude I think. I found myself reading
> >> > 'bank'
> >> > > > for 'blank' but maybe that's the final river interposing. Like
> >> > > particularly
> >> > > > 'footfall echo maps'.
> >> > > >
> >> > > > Bill
> >> > > >
> >> > > > > On 20 Aug 2014, at 7:48 am, David Bircumshaw <
> >> > > [log in to unmask]>
> >> > > > wrote:
> >> > > > >
> >> > > > > * Scantling Saywas*
> >> > > > >
> >> > > > >
> >> > > > >
> >> > > > > Even though the walls
> >> > > > >
> >> > > > > Collapsed like lungs
> >> > > > >
> >> > > > > Even though to speak
> >> > > > >
> >> > > > > Burnt like a grate
> >> > > > >
> >> > > > > Even though your body
> >> > > > >
> >> > > > > Melted into space
> >> > > > >
> >> > > > > Even though the blank
> >> > > > >
> >> > > > > Was flamed through with holes
> >> > > > >
> >> > > > >
> >> > > > >
> >> > > > > The morning still maintained
> >> > > > >
> >> > > > > A message from before
> >> > > > >
> >> > > > > The paths still proclaimed
> >> > > > >
> >> > > > > Footfall echo maps
> >> > > > >
> >> > > > > And afternoons still basked
> >> > > > >
> >> > > > > A scent of light turning
> >> > > > >
> >> > > > >
> >> > > > >
> >> > > > > Over on an open river
> >> > > > >
> >> > > > >
> >> > > > >
> >> > > > >
> >> > > > >
> >> > > > >
> >> > > > > --
> >> > > > > David Joseph Bircumshaw
> >> > > > > Website and A Chide's Alphabet
> >> > > > > http://www.staplednapkin.org.uk
> >> > > > > The Animal Subsides
> >> > http://www.arrowheadpress.co.uk/books/animal.html
> >> > > > > Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/david.bircumshaw
> >> > > > > Tumblr: http://zantikus.tumblr.com/
> >> > > > > twitter: http://twitter.com/bucketshave
> >> > > > > blog: http://groggydays.blogspot.com/
> >> > > > > Leicester Poetry Society: http://www.poetryleicester.com
> >> > > > >
> >> > > >
> >> > >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> > --
> >> > David Joseph Bircumshaw
> >> > Website and A Chide's Alphabet
> >> > http://www.staplednapkin.org.uk
> >> > The Animal Subsides http://www.arrowheadpress.co.uk/books/animal.html
> >> > Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/david.bircumshaw
> >> > Tumblr: http://zantikus.tumblr.com/
> >> > twitter: http://twitter.com/bucketshave
> >> > blog: http://groggydays.blogspot.com/
> >> > Leicester Poetry Society: http://www.poetryleicester.com
> >> >
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >> --
> >> Andrew
> >> http://hispirits.blogspot.com/
> >> 'Undercover of Lightness'
> >> http://walleahpress.com.au/recent-publications.html
> >> 'Shikibu Shuffle'
> >>
> >>
> http://abovegroundpress.blogspot.com.au/2012/03/new-from-aboveground-press-shikibu.html
> >>
> >
> >
> >
> > --
> > David Joseph Bircumshaw
> > Website and A Chide's Alphabet
> > http://www.staplednapkin.org.uk
> > The Animal Subsides http://www.arrowheadpress.co.uk/books/animal.html
> > Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/david.bircumshaw
> > Tumblr: http://zantikus.tumblr.com/
> > twitter: http://twitter.com/bucketshave
> > blog: http://groggydays.blogspot.com/
> > Leicester Poetry Society: http://www.poetryleicester.com
> >
>
>
>
> --
> David Joseph Bircumshaw
> Website and A Chide's Alphabet
> http://www.staplednapkin.org.uk
> The Animal Subsides http://www.arrowheadpress.co.uk/books/animal.html
> Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/david.bircumshaw
> Tumblr: http://zantikus.tumblr.com/
> twitter: http://twitter.com/bucketshave
> blog: http://groggydays.blogspot.com/
> Leicester Poetry Society: http://www.poetryleicester.com
>
--
Andrew
http://hispirits.blogspot.com/
'Undercover of Lightness'
http://walleahpress.com.au/recent-publications.html
'Shikibu Shuffle'
http://abovegroundpress.blogspot.com.au/2012/03/new-from-aboveground-press-shikibu.html
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