thanks, Doug, Andrew, Bill -
right now I can’t imagine the reader who would persist through a bunch of these,
trimmed or not.
Sprinkle them maybe through a collection with other sorts of poems, change of pace,
and so on.
I ask myself how many listeners would stay still during a reading of them, and for how long, and my hunch is that two poems would be the limit.
Meantime, yes, tighten and trim…drop detail...
Max in Melbourne
On 5 Jun 2014, at 9:03 am, Andrew Burke <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
> Yes, Doug may have a pooint there, Max. I think when you herd many of these
> together you will tighten many of them up - give a sharper focus. Their
> true perspective comes out in a manuscript.
>
> Andrew
>
>
> On 5 June 2014 00:56, Douglas Barbour <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
>
>> Another memory story, Max, & they seem to get more precise as you enter
>> into this series...
>>
>> I enjoy it for the local references, the sense of NZ then. But it feels a
>> bit like youre trying to get every little detail in, & perhaps dont need
>> them all...?
>>
>> Doug
>> On Jun 4, 2014, at 5:07 AM, Max Richards <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
>>
>>> Card Table, Breakfast Table
>>>
>>> When up, the folding card table
>>> with spindly legs - don't sit on it,
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