Pastoral, Lawrence, & gentle so. I think youll need something to replace 'a bit' should you drop that phrase.
Doug
On Jan 8, 2014, at 9:01 AM, Lawrence Upton <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
> OK.
> Thanks.
> More precisely I think it works to a degree but nowhere to the degree that
> it might
>
> L
>
>
> On 8 January 2014 15:55, Patrick McManus <[log in to unmask]>wrote:
>
>> Dear L ducks at least it worked for me cheers P humbly
>>
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: Poetryetc: poetry and poetics [mailto:[log in to unmask]] On
>> Behalf Of Lawrence Upton
>> Sent: 08 January 2014 15:04
>> To: [log in to unmask]
>> Subject: Re: ducks
>>
>> That's what I was aiming for. I don't think it worked
>>
>> L
>>
>>
>> On 8 January 2014 08:42, Patrick McManus
>> <[log in to unmask]>wrote:
>>
>>> I liked the way bit was used at the end because to me it showed nicely
>>> the 'cool' of the ducks Cheers unca P
>>>
>>> -----Original Message-----
>>> From: Poetryetc: poetry and poetics [mailto:[log in to unmask]]
>>> On Behalf Of Kasper Salonen
>>> Sent: 07 January 2014 20:02
>>> To: [log in to unmask]
>>> Subject: Re: ducks
>>>
>>> I thought "reaching" was "reading", and was delighted. It's a
>>> delightful moment in general. "... a bit" at the end is flaccid, but
>>> otherwise this is vivid.
>>>
>>> KS
>>>
>>> ---
>>> Kasper Salonen, toiminnanjohtaja
>>> Helsinki Poetry Connection
>>> http://hkipoetryconnection.blogspot.com/
>>> +358505554947
>>>
>>>
>>> On 7 January 2014 20:40, Lawrence Upton <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
>>>
>>>> If it weren't for the stuffing and roasting and having your eggs
>>>> nicked I wouldnt mind being a duck. Better than a chicken.
>>>> A very big duck.
>>>> Like the ten foot parrot who says: Whose a pretty boy?
>>>> I wonder if anyone knows a story by Herbert George Wells --
>>>> Aepyornis Island
>>>>
>>>> Must go
>>>> thanks, Patrick
>>>>
>>>> L
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> On 7 January 2014 18:36, Patrick McManus
>>>> <[log in to unmask]
>>>>> wrote:
>>>>
>>>>> L enjoyed that the Ducks just moved away a bit!
>>>>> P paddling fast
>>>>>
>>>>> -----Original Message-----
>>>>> From: Poetryetc: poetry and poetics
>>>>> [mailto:[log in to unmask]] On Behalf Of Lawrence Upton
>>>>> Sent: 07 January 2014 18:09
>>>>> To: [log in to unmask]
>>>>> Subject: ducks
>>>>>
>>>>> Ducks toil upon a calm ocean,
>>>>>
>>>>> working to stay in place; even
>>>>>
>>>>> veering, apparently serene,
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> their paddling feet invisible,
>>>>>
>>>>> as the dog approaches, reaching
>>>>>
>>>>> some tidally-exposed boulders,
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> clambering with loud snorts, panting.
>>>>>
>>>>> Gulls hang on almost till the last,
>>>>>
>>>>> then wheel and screech down at her back.
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> Noisy fish break through the water.
>>>>>
>>>>> The ducks keep churning the water
>>>>>
>>>>> although moving away a bit.
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> Richard Kessling / Lawrence Upton
>>>>>
>>>>
>>>
>>
>
Douglas Barbour
[log in to unmask]
http://www.ualberta.ca/~dbarbour/
http://eclecticruckus.wordpress.com/
Latest books:
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Swept snow, Li Po,
by dawn’s 40-watt moon
to the road that hies to office
away from home.
Lorine Niedecker
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