As it stands, it works well, Lawrence, although, especially given what you say in reply to Patrick, I'd drop the 'Like'....
Doug
On Dec 11, 2013, at 5:47 AM, Lawrence Upton <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
>
>
> Thanks
>
> I think they must "see" space
>
> I watch the kestrel south of where I often stay. It's obviously
> feeling the air currents very accurately.
>
> L
>
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "Poetryetc: poetry and poetics"
> To:
> Cc:
> Sent:Wed, 11 Dec 2013 23:30:08 +1100
> Subject:Re: Hawk over Croft Pascoe
>
> Like the image of mounting curves we cannot see, L.
>
> B
>
> On 11/12/2013, at 10:23 PM, Lawrence Upton wrote:
>
>> That hawk is geostationary,
>>
>> wings undulating waves,
>>
>> buckling and whipping towards full speed
>>
>> our observations ululation
>>
>>
>> then slumps to climb
>>
>> as we might move from
>>
>> one height to another, to get
>>
>> another's tiptoe view. Like a
>>
>> surveyor taking measure, the hawk
>>
>> mounts upon curves of a world
>>
>> we cannot see, and moves on
>>
>> off north-westwards, maintaining height
>>
>
>
Douglas Barbour
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