I ended up slashing the first stanza and putting it in present
tense... making sort of a collage tableau...
On 12/04/13 08:30, Chris Jones wrote:
> More BBQ drafts...
>
>
> Critical comments invited and appreciated
>
> Some more BBQ drafts... each line is a breath and the white is a
> silent breathing out which makes the lines softer.
>
>
>
> There's a way that we know
> a word saying go which says
> this sets us on a stairway
> we climb up and down
> and find our self lost
> and so this becomes--
>
> a computer encrypted plastic
> magnetic card opening door
> the code being correct lets
> us in; we may enter now
> every floor in this domestic
> affair, into matters of fact.
>
> Burning ships sink in harbour
> sailing did not have any faith
> with bent motions in a sail boat
> and men overboard were wrapped
> in arm's tender care, hauled up
> with lines from a rescue helicopter.
>
--
BLOG http://abdevpoetics.blogspot.com.au/
|