Thanks, Sheila
I am pleased that you picked up on weight weightening which of course
can work for snow but trees tend to stay the same colour
That poem dates in origin from last autumn, clouds coming in over
land from 3000 plus miles of sea
and well they did look like lorryloads, truckloads to you, of timber
it's a fairly _straight_ poem -- saw it, felt it, wrote it
rewrote it slightly, dropped a few unnecessary phonemes a few days
ago
best
L
----- Original Message -----
From: "Poetryetc: poetry and poetics"
To:
Cc:
Sent:Tue, 2 Apr 2013 12:06:29 -0700
Subject:Re: Snapshot a bit before time
The feeling behind this is very appealing, Lawrence. I'm pulling
words and
thinking about this:
Snow in the air
will not come
clouds
swung like stout beech trunks
gather
weight whitened
consciousness
will not fall here
On Tue, Apr 2, 2013 at 11:15 AM, Lawrence Upton
wrote:
>
> There is snow in the air;
> and yet it will not come,
> clouds carrying on over –
>
> swung like stout beech tree trunks
> gathered together, roped
> securely as one: high –
>
> an enormous weight, whitening
> upon the consciousness;
> but it will not fall here
>
>
>
|