Sharon, like others, i like this, agree with Sheila's suggestions, and am particularly taken by the final open-ended question.
Bill
On Wed, Apr 24th, 2013 at 9:08 AM, Sheila Murphy <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
> Sharon, I am very, very taken with your poem. Its effects include firm,
> first tones, and resonate beyond those.
>
> While reading, I was stopped by two places:
> 1. "I scar easily." - I think that letting go of "They will scar" would
> be
> fine - leaving "I scar easily."
> 2 6th line from the end, the word "but" - I would drop it.
>
> You didn't ask for advice, but I guess I just felt like offering this.
> The
> poem is top drawer, so it seemed as though my thoughts might be useful.
>
> Thanks for the lovely moments in this!
>
> Sheila
>
>
>
>
> On Tue, Apr 23, 2013 at 2:43 PM, sharon brogan <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
>
> > *
> >
> > In the late evening, when I go to close
> >
> > the shutters, I see the cold moon
> >
> > in the eastern sky. Snow, still,
> >
> > in shadowed places.
> >
> > My dog is going deaf. The cat,
> >
> > startled, leaves bloody slashes
> >
> > along my arm. They will scar.
> >
> > I scar easily.
> >
> > I wrap myself in my house, like
> >
> > an old, favored sweater. Well-
> >
> > worn, shabby, stained, but
> >
> > comfortable. Familiar.
> >
> > Shall I think the best of you and so
> >
> > be taken for a fool? Or the worst,
> >
> > and so be safely cynical,
> >
> > sophisticated, shuttered-in.
> >
> >
> > *
> > --
> > sharon brogan
> > http://www.sbpoet.com
> > http://www.sbpoet.net
> > http://smallpoems.sbpoet.net
> > 406.578.1788
> >
>
>
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