Sharon, I am very, very taken with your poem. Its effects include firm,
first tones, and resonate beyond those.
While reading, I was stopped by two places:
1. "I scar easily." - I think that letting go of "They will scar" would be
fine - leaving "I scar easily."
2 6th line from the end, the word "but" - I would drop it.
You didn't ask for advice, but I guess I just felt like offering this. The
poem is top drawer, so it seemed as though my thoughts might be useful.
Thanks for the lovely moments in this!
Sheila
On Tue, Apr 23, 2013 at 2:43 PM, sharon brogan <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
> *
>
> In the late evening, when I go to close
>
> the shutters, I see the cold moon
>
> in the eastern sky. Snow, still,
>
> in shadowed places.
>
> My dog is going deaf. The cat,
>
> startled, leaves bloody slashes
>
> along my arm. They will scar.
>
> I scar easily.
>
> I wrap myself in my house, like
>
> an old, favored sweater. Well-
>
> worn, shabby, stained, but
>
> comfortable. Familiar.
>
> Shall I think the best of you and so
>
> be taken for a fool? Or the worst,
>
> and so be safely cynical,
>
> sophisticated, shuttered-in.
>
>
> *
> --
> sharon brogan
> http://www.sbpoet.com
> http://www.sbpoet.net
> http://smallpoems.sbpoet.net
> 406.578.1788
>
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