Yes, it moves into those final lines for surprise, & so I too agree with Sheila, her praise & her suggestions...
Doug
On 2013-04-24, at 3:03 AM, Bill Wootton <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
> Sharon, like others, i like this, agree with Sheila's suggestions, and am particularly taken by the final open-ended question.
>
> Bill
>
> On Wed, Apr 24th, 2013 at 9:08 AM, Sheila Murphy <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
>
>> Sharon, I am very, very taken with your poem. Its effects include firm,
>> first tones, and resonate beyond those.
>>
>> While reading, I was stopped by two places:
>> 1. "I scar easily." - I think that letting go of "They will scar" would
>> be
>> fine - leaving "I scar easily."
>> 2 6th line from the end, the word "but" - I would drop it.
>>
>> You didn't ask for advice, but I guess I just felt like offering this.
>> The
>> poem is top drawer, so it seemed as though my thoughts might be useful.
>>
>> Thanks for the lovely moments in this!
>>
>> Sheila
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> On Tue, Apr 23, 2013 at 2:43 PM, sharon brogan <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
>>
>>> *
>>>
>>> In the late evening, when I go to close
>>>
>>> the shutters, I see the cold moon
>>>
>>> in the eastern sky. Snow, still,
>>>
>>> in shadowed places.
>>>
>>> My dog is going deaf. The cat,
>>>
>>> startled, leaves bloody slashes
>>>
>>> along my arm. They will scar.
>>>
>>> I scar easily.
>>>
>>> I wrap myself in my house, like
>>>
>>> an old, favored sweater. Well-
>>>
>>> worn, shabby, stained, but
>>>
>>> comfortable. Familiar.
>>>
>>> Shall I think the best of you and so
>>>
>>> be taken for a fool? Or the worst,
>>>
>>> and so be safely cynical,
>>>
>>> sophisticated, shuttered-in.
>>>
>>>
>>> *
>>> --
>>> sharon brogan
>>> http://www.sbpoet.com
>>> http://www.sbpoet.net
>>> http://smallpoems.sbpoet.net
>>> 406.578.1788
>>>
>>
>>
>
Douglas Barbour
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