Well it is remembered from a vivid dream this morning actually, Max. The change of point of view towards the end just happened and it reads on the page I now see, more sinisterly than I had intended. So, verge, yes. Unsure whether to take it further or just revise as is.
Cheers,
Bill
On 21/11/2012, at 4:46 PM, Max Richards <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
> has the quality of a remembered experience loaded with potential without quite declaring …
> promised car leaves us on the verge?
>
> On 21/11/2012, at 8:16 AM, Bill Wootton wrote:
>
>> About to emerge
>> through a spring-latch door
>> on to the shopping street,
>> he suddenly remembers;
>> her muesli. Where is it?
>> Wait here, he says,
>> to his endearingly
>> dumpy-faced, red-haired,
>> trusting companion.
>>
>> In the street, he strides,
>> retracing footsteps
>> towards the upper
>> milkbar on the other side.
>> But he doesn't need
>> to go that far.
>> There the muesli is,
>> untampered-with,
>> in its clear plastic sheathing,
>> sitting on an old postbox.
>>
>> Now the two walk together,
>> he announcing this is East Ivanhoe,
>> she nodding slowly, accepting.
>> Which way should I now go,
>> he wonders: past the primary school
>> or up Robin Hood Road?
>> They met at work in the office,
>> only a week ago and now
>> he's walking her home,
>> the long way.
>>
>> Outside his house, the Catalpa,
>> huge leaves bearing the marks
>> of autumn; one leaf is emblem
>> of all seasons, edged deep green,
>> flecked with orangy-yellow
>> and thorough crimson at its
>> heart. See it, he says.
>> She nods dumbly, she is still
>> taking in wider matters.
>>
>> In the front yard, good,
>> his promised car, is there,
>> albeit leaf-covered,
>> nestled under the willow tree.
>>
>>
>> Bill Wootton
>> 21November 12
>
|