Cheers, P
B
On 17/08/2012, at 3:29 AM, Patrick McManus <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
> It had a nice (what a word) feel about it here in this poem -my tuppence prithee
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Poetryetc: poetry and poetics [mailto:[log in to unmask]] On Behalf Of Jill Jones
> Sent: 16 August 2012 04:53
> To: [log in to unmask]
> Subject: Re: Wednesday snap: A sign - Epilogue
>
> I actually have no problem with the intrusion of an archaism.
> And in this instance it seemed to fit, for me. That you found something, if not archaic, but old.
>
> But that's just me ...
>
> J
>
> ________________________
> Jill Jones www.jilljones.com.au
>
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "Poetryetc: poetry and poetics"
> To:
> Cc:
> Sent:Thu, 16 Aug 2012 12:34:11 +1000
> Subject:Re: Wednesday snap: A sign - Epilogue
>
> Thanks, Doug, Max.
>
> In my 'defence', I could say that I was seeking to create a naive, perhaps even archaic voice. Hence 'nay' in the first sense, Max, of 'no, not'. But I concede that does sound mannered and is an affectation that can be excised. It is not 'highly ironic'.
>
> Doug, what I had done, was to create a sort of omnibus version of the whole 'sign' mini-saga and converted it to prose to enter in a local short story competition run by ragandbonepress. Then I sliced off the last part, titled it Epilogue and refiddled it a bit for for the snap.
> As poetry, I can see how your slices improve.
>
> Cheers,
> Bill
>
> On 16/08/2012, at 1:20 AM, Douglas Barbour wrote:
>
>> I like the ending, Bill, & the lead-up to it. But feel that you could cut some not-doing-anything words, like the 'that' in l 4, or perhaps the whole 'that it was' or the 'It was' later on; things like that. And 'Nay'? Do you, or does anyone, say or even think that, except as highly ironic comment?
>>
>> Doug
>> On 2012-08-14, at 4:12 PM, Bill Wootton wrote:
>>
>>> A sign - Epilogue
>>>
>>> When I walked down to inspect the sign the following morning, >> sun sparkled from its plaque and I could see, >> as I neared, >> that it was a brand new steel pole, >> inserted exactly in the old crater >> and neatly pounded in.
>>> Nay, it had been seamlessly, signlessly, installed.
>>>
>>> It was as though it had never been away.
>>>
>>> Of my righting branch,
>>> there was no sign.
>>>
>>> But wait...
>>> there, at the foot of the pole,
>>> a white glint.
>>> A bit of the broken branch?
>>> No, the white object looked bigger...
>>> and smaller.
>>>
>>> I waited for a car to pass, then crossed the road.
>>> On my haunches, I gazed
>>> at the intact rictus of a kangaroo skull.
>>>
>>> Bill Woottton
>>> 15 August, 2012
>>>
>>
>> Douglas Barbour
>> [log in to unmask]
>>
>> http://www.ualberta.ca/~dbarbour/
>> http://eclecticruckus.wordpress.com/
>>
>> Latest books:
>> Continuations & Continuations 2 (with Sheila E Murphy) > http://www.uap.ualberta.ca/UAP.asp?LID=41&bookID=962
>> Wednesdays'
>>
> http://abovegroundpress.blogspot.com/2008/03/new-from-aboveground-press_10.html
>>
>>
>> Why can t words mean what they say?
>>
>> Robert Kroetsch
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