Thanks, Doug, Max.
In my 'defence', I could say that I was seeking to create a naive, perhaps even archaic voice. Hence 'nay' in the first sense, Max, of 'no, not'. But I concede that does sound mannered and is an affectation that can be excised. It is not 'highly ironic'.
Doug, what I had done, was to create a sort of omnibus version of the whole 'sign' mini-saga and converted it to prose to enter in a local short story competition run by ragandbonepress. Then I sliced off the last part, titled it Epilogue and refiddled it a bit for for the snap. As poetry, I can see how your slices improve.
Cheers,
Bill
On 16/08/2012, at 1:20 AM, Douglas Barbour <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
> I like the ending, Bill, & the lead-up to it. But feel that you could cut some not-doing-anything words, like the 'that' in l 4, or perhaps the whole 'that it was' or the 'It was' later on; things like that. And 'Nay'? Do you, or does anyone, say or even think that, except as highly ironic comment?
>
> Doug
> On 2012-08-14, at 4:12 PM, Bill Wootton <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
>
>> A sign - Epilogue
>>
>> When I walked down to inspect the sign the following morning,
>> sun sparkled from its plaque and I could see,
>> as I neared,
>> that it was a brand new steel pole,
>> inserted exactly in the old crater
>> and neatly pounded in.
>> Nay, it had been seamlessly, signlessly, installed.
>>
>> It was as though it had never been away.
>>
>> Of my righting branch,
>> there was no sign.
>>
>> But wait...
>> there, at the foot of the pole,
>> a white glint.
>> A bit of the broken branch?
>> No, the white object looked bigger...
>> and smaller.
>>
>> I waited for a car to pass, then crossed the road.
>> On my haunches, I gazed
>> at the intact rictus of a kangaroo skull.
>>
>> Bill Woottton
>> 15 August, 2012
>>
>
> Douglas Barbour
> [log in to unmask]
>
> http://www.ualberta.ca/~dbarbour/
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>
> Why can’t words mean what they say?
>
> Robert Kroetsch
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