Still dreaming of that hyphen, Jill. Whooh. That'd be some song.
Cheers,
Bill
On 16/08/2012, at 4:31 PM, Jill Jones wrote:
> Bill,
>
> nay, 'tis a mere trifle.
>
> The hyphen - for an open that is dreamt through singing, to put it
> backwards. I didn't want song as a noun.
>
> Thanks,
> J
>
> ________________________ Jill Jones www.jilljones.com.au
>
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "Poetryetc: poetry and poetics"
> To:
> Cc:
> Sent:Thu, 16 Aug 2012 14:39:04 +1000
> Subject:Re: snap - today's rewrite
>
> Jill,
>
> I like 'a song-dreamed open', even if I don't really get the hyphen.
>
> Oh and thanks for trying to rescue 'nay'.
>
> Cheers,
> Bill
>
> On 16/08/2012, at 1:58 PM, Jill Jones wrote:
>
>> Thanks Roger, Doug and Lawrence,
>>
>> It was a recasting of something older that I was tinkering with
> for,
>> umm, a little something, so its snappedyness is process focus, not
>> instantaneous moment of my day, which was not blue but grey. OK,
> there
>> was abundant shadow - of clouds.
>>
>> And thanks for the suggestion Lawrence. I think you may be on the
>> money, there.
>>
>> J
>>
>> ________________________
>> Jill Jones wwwjilljones.com.au
>>
>> ----- Original Message -----
>> From: "Poetryetc: poetry and poetics"
>> To:
>> Cc:
>> Sent:Wed, 15 Aug 2012 19:35:59 +0100
>> Subject:Re: snap - today's rewrite
>>
>> Jill, pardon me, but I wonder how attached you are to _the_ in the
>> seventh
>> line
>>
>> if you cut it, the shortness of the line does wonders for
> _contains_
>>
>> L
>>
>> On Wed, August 15, 2012 15:41, Jill Jones wrote:
>>> Blue light surface
>>>
>>>
>>> covers memory
>>>
>>> of sound with
>>>
>>> abundant shadow
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> no box nor drum
>>>
>>> entirely contains
>>>
>>> the wandering breath
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> a song-dreamed open
>>>
>>> breathes difficulty
>>>
>>> blooms form
>>>
>>
>> -----
>> Lawrence Upton
>>
>> http://sho-zyg.com/upton.html
>>
>> Visiting Fellow, Music Dept,
>> Goldsmiths, University of London
>> New Cross, London SE14 6NW
>> ----
>>
>>
>>
>
>
>
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