I too like the remembering, Max. But agree with Andrew that some editing, tidying up, might push nit a bit harder. The first stanza has more energy & play than some of what follows. That prose aspect ( do you need 'it was' for instance?). A little juddering here & there might help, but in a sense the tale is the core of the piece...
Doug
On 2012-06-26, at 6:59 PM, Max Richards wrote:
> Butter
Douglas Barbour
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