That's right, Patrick
L
On Wed, February 1, 2012 16:12, Patrick McManus wrote:
> L-Oops re shag did you mean that you sold shags? the seabird cormorant
> Phalacrocorax arisolelis?? Sorry for any offence
> P
>
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Poetryetc: poetry and poetics [mailto:[log in to unmask]] On
> Behalf Of Lawrence Upton
> Sent: 01 February 2012 13:39
> To: [log in to unmask]
> Subject: Re: received poem
>
>
> I wonder on what basis you say that, Patrick.
>
>
> I am generous to a fault. It's just that I'd have preferred it if she'd
> asked _how much for a shag?_
>
> I am never forget is a quote. Yes. It is so embedded in the patois of one
> of my speech communities, a very small one, I almost forget.
>
> You need bad Russian accent -- in the style of Tom Lehrer -- he, I
> believe, who said he was giving up satire when Kissinger got the Nobel
> Peace Prize
>
>
> It was a song about how to plagiarise
>
>
> I have just grabbed the entire routine from the net
>
>
> In the spirit of the song
>
>
> It was half spoken half sung
>
>
> quote
>
> For many years now, Mr. Danny Kaye, who has been my particular idol since
> childbirth, has been doing a routine about the great Russian director
> Stanislavsky and the secret of success in the acting profession. And I
> thought it would be interesting to stea... to adapt this idea to the field
> of mathematics. I always like to make explicit the fact that before I
> went off not too long ago to fight in the trenches, I was a mathematician
> by profession. I don't like people to get the idea that I have to do this
> for a living. I mean, it isn't as though I had to do this, you know, I
> could be making, oh, 3000 dollars a year just teaching.
>
> Be that as it may, some of you may have had occasion to run into
> mathematicians and to wonder therefore how they got that way, and here, in
> partial explanation perhaps, is the story of the great Russian
> mathematician Nicolai Ivanovich Lobachevsky.
>
>
> Who made me the genius I am today,
> The mathematician that others all quote, Who's the professor that made me
> that way? The greatest that ever got chalk on his coat.
>
>
> One man deserves the credit,
> One man deserves the blame,
> And Nicolai Ivanovich Lobachevsky is his name.
> Hi!
> Nicolai Ivanovich Lobach-
>
>
> I am never forget the day I first meet the great Lobachevsky.
> In one word he told me secret of success in mathematics:
> Plagiarize!
>
>
> Plagiarize,
> Let no one else's work evade your eyes, Remember why the good Lord made
> your eyes, So don't shade your eyes, But plagiarize, plagiarize,
> plagiarize - Only be sure always to call it please 'research'.
>
> And ever since I meet this man
> My life is not the same,
> And Nicolai Ivanovich Lobachevsky is his name.
> Hi!
> Nicolai Ivanovich Lobach-
>
>
> I am never forget the day I am given first original paper to write. It
> was on analytic and algebraic topology of locally Euclidean
> parameterization of infinitely differentiable Riemannian manifold. Bozhe
> moi! This I know from nothing.
> What-i'm going-to do.
> But I think of great Lobachevsky and get idea - ahah!
>
>
> I have a friend in Minsk,
> Who has a friend in Pinsk,
> Whose friend in Omsk
> Has friend in Tomsk
> With friend in Akmolinsk.
> His friend in Alexandrovsk
> Has friend in Petropavlovsk,
> Whose friend somehow
> Is solving now
> The problem in Dnepropetrovsk.
>
>
> And when his work is done -
> Ha ha! - begins the fun.
> From Dnepropetrovsk
> To Petropavlovsk,
> By way of Iliysk,
> And Novorossiysk,
> To Alexandrovsk to Akmolinsk
> To Tomsk to Omsk
> To Pinsk to Minsk
> To me the news will run,
> Yes, to me the news will run!
>
>
> And then I write
> By morning, night,
> And afternoon,
> And pretty soon
> My name in Dnepropetrovsk is cursed,
> When he finds out I publish first!
>
>
> And who made me a big success
> And brought me wealth and fame?
> Nicolai Ivanovich Lobachevsky is his name.
> Hi!
> Nicolai Ivanovich Lobach -
>
>
> I am never forget the day my first book is published.
> Every chapter I stole from somewhere else.
> Index I copy from old Vladivostok telephone directory.
> This book was sensational!
> Pravda - well, Pravda - Pravda said: "Zhil-bil korol kogda-to, pree nyom
> blokha zhila"[1] It stinks. But Izvestia! Izvestia said: "Ya idoo kuda sam
> czar idyot peshkom!"[2] It stinks. Metro-Goldwyn-Moskva buys movie rights
> for six million rubles, Changing title to 'The Eternal Triangle', With
> Brigitte Bardot playing part of
> hypotenuse.
>
> And who deserves the credit?
> And who deserves the blame?
> Nicolai Ivanovich Lobachevsky is his name.
> Hi!
>
>
> unquote
>
> Now reading it again it may be that humour changes but, and you will
> understand this better than I, Patrick, some decades ago life was terribly
> miserable and we grabbed at anything
>
> also, more seriously, it is a reworking of an existing (forgotten I
> believe ) routine
>
>
> Lehrer is good to listen to still. I am playing some in my head.
> Recommended
>
>
>
> On Wed, February 1, 2012 13:10, Patrick McManus wrote:
>
>> Yes to try and get a drink off L she must have been desperate
>> Later-Not sure if it is yours or her incompetence -please clarify P Ps
>> 'I am never forget a woman in a bar in Athens-' has a ring about it is
>> it a quote P concerned Actually Diana is very intelligent and has to play
>> it down for insecure old poets!
>>
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: Poetryetc: poetry and poetics [mailto:[log in to unmask]]
>> On Behalf Of Lawrence Upton
>> Sent: 01 February 2012 12:41
>> To: [log in to unmask]
>> Subject: Re: received poem
>>
>>
>>
>> She gets around
>>
>>
>>
>> She says she's in Australia but has an email in Italy under someone
>> else's name. You'd think I wasn't busy! but I had a look at the header.
>> The first IP address is unknown, the message just
>> materialised, the second was in Ukraine
>>
>> I thought of saying I have a soccer of my own and we could watch it
>> together. All sorts of nonsense. But what's the point.
>>
>> But I do like the incompetence which is why I posted it. One would
>> have to be rather desperate to believe it though.
>>
>> I am never forget a woman in a bar in Athens trying to get a drink and
>> wallet off me saying English? I like English. I will come to England with
>> you. I'd been on a ferry sleeping on deck for nearly 50 hours and just
>> wanted to be a little drunk and had to endure that nonsense
>>
>> 100 thousand years of fast track mental evolution and now VLSI Very
>> Large Scale Idiocy
>>
>>
>>
>> Must work
>>
>>
>>
>> L
>>
>>
>>
>> On Wed, February 1, 2012 12:28, Patrick McManus wrote:
>>
>>
>>> Ah yes she visited me last year had wonderful time P
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> -----Original Message-----
>>> From: Poetryetc: poetry and poetics [mailto:[log in to unmask]]
>>> On Behalf Of Lawrence Upton
>>> Sent: 01 February 2012 11:59
>>> To: [log in to unmask]
>>> Subject: received poem
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> Hello Mr.!
>>> I know that my letter will a surprising for you. I will try to
>>> explain to you. I asked the agency to find a man for a serious
>>> relationship. They gave me email address. And so I write. My name is
>>> Diana. I am 27 years old. I was born in Poland. But now I live in
>>> Sydney. I'm a lawyer in the economic. I work for a big company. I
>>> like my job, but I don't have time for relationship. A little about me:
>>> I am very communicative girl. My friends say about me that I talk
>>> too much. But I love to speak. I like to read books. Every day I play
> tennis and golf.
>>> I like watching a soccer and snooker. My weight 55 kg. My height 178
>>> cm. My hair color-light brown. My eye color - brown.
>>> Now you know a little about me. If you are interested please contact
>>> me on my personal mail. I'll have a vacation for a month. And I plan to
>>> visit UK. To me interesting to know all about UK. I would love to see
>>> your letter and pictures. Please
>>> tell me about yourself. I'm curious to know all about you. Have a nice
>>> day. Diana
>>>
>
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UNFRAMED PICTURES by Lawrence Upton
42 pages; A5 paperback; colour cover
Writers Forum 978 1 84254 277 4
wfuk.org.uk/blog
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