It gets that 'edge of the eye' sighting, Sharon. I wonder if you might drop the 'you' at the end, & have this?
breathless
broken
permanently
irrevocably
irretrievably
lost
which lets all be so lost?
Might be too sharp; just wondering....
Doug
On 2012-02-16, at 11:17 AM, sharon brogan wrote:
> *2012 February 16
>
> at the edge of the eye
> like the flick of a squirrel’s tail
> like the flick of a deer’s tail
>
> shadow inside shadow
> a movement, a blur
>
> a thicker darkness
>
> like trying to grasp
> a handful of mist
>
> like sound in fog
> distant
> then close
> tapping your ear
>
> then gone
>
> black loping through trees
> articulates
> into bear
>
> walking a familiar path
> on a clear winter day
>
> ravens lift
> all at once
> suddenly
>
> avalanche
>
> the mountain comes down
>
> you’re breathless
> you’re broken
>
> you are permanently
> irrevocably
> irretrievably
>
> lost
> *
>
> --
> sharon brogan
> http://www.sbpoet.com
> http://www.sbpoet.net
> http://smallpoems.sbpoet.net
> 406.578.1788
>
Douglas Barbour
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