I like it a lot, Sharon. I do feel the last line is a bit predeictable from
the penultimate line - I think it should be a surprise, syntactically or
some wise, maybe 'free as ... ' or another leap (a la Bly's 'Leaping
Poetry') ...
Andrew
On 28 December 2011 07:58, sharon brogan <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
> i would take you home
> if i knew where that was
>
> i would take you home
> if you knew where that was
>
> if your feet had roots
> if your hair had wings
> if we could fly
> if we could grip this earth
>
> with something other than
> desire
>
> i would take us home
> if we knew where that was
>
> it could be right
> it could be sweet
> it could be the beginning
>
> i would take us home
> i would plant us there
> comb your feathers
> groom your wings
> set you free
>
> if i knew what that was
>
>
> --
> sharon brogan
> http://www.sbpoet.com
> http://www.sbpoet.net
> http://smallpoems.sbpoet.net
> 406.578.1788
>
--
Andrew
http://hispirits.blogspot.com/
http://www.mullamullapress.com/QWERTY
BLUE ROSE enovel avail. at Amazon, Smashwords and
http://etextpress.com/books.htm
|