L best of luck with the thinking
-I simpleton just go by my ear!!
not sure about big words like
'semantic is so
Foregrounded'
'conjunctive'
sound play here does that mean you like and /stand ?
unsayableness?
little ineffable
So that is a bit used car salesman talk to me
Cheers P the unlettered unfettered
-----Original Message-----
From: Poetryetc: poetry and poetics [mailto:[log in to unmask]] On
Behalf Of Lawrence Upton
Sent: 06 November 2011 12:34
To: [log in to unmask]
Subject: Re: Walking through Kemyel
Thank you, Patrick
Your question is a good one.
If I say _yes_ it isn't said glibly; I have spent much time
on this poem, chopping off a bit here and there; it started much longer
Kemyel is a strange place and I have tried to retrieve from it something
of an intense experience which may be communicable
and, for what it's worth to know it, the verse reorders a small element of
another poem soon to be published so that there is the possibility of echo
/ recall little ineffable
but I digress
there is a weak reason for retaining _and_ of wrecking the rhythm, not
just changing what is there, every change does that to some extent if we
take rhythm to include sound play, but leaving something quite messy
behind
I call that a weak reason because, if you like, that's the job, to get it
right over all; and I can hardly counter _music!_ when the semantic is so
foregrounded
I feel that here _and_ isn't just conjunctive but carries conjunctive and
_but_ and even a kind of _therefore_ or _thus_
If what that points to is more than a little ineffable, that's ok, that's
what I was after; and, in retrospect, all the verbal overgrowth I cut back
before inviting people in was cut back to display that small unsayableness
I'd like to think
L
I
On Sat, November 5, 2011 18:59, Patrick McManus wrote:
> Powerful -does it need the 'and '?
> P
>
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Poetryetc: poetry and poetics [mailto:[log in to unmask]] On
> Behalf Of Lawrence Upton
> Sent: 05 November 2011 12:20
> To: [log in to unmask]
> Subject: Walking through Kemyel
>
>
> hope out of range
>
> voice calloused
>
> above menslaughtering sea
>
> and, in a field, nearby, stones, in a circle, stand
>
>
>
>
> -----
> UNFRAMED GRAPHICS by Lawrence Upton
> 42 pages; A5 paperback; colour cover
> Writers Forum 978 1 84254 277 4
> wfuk.org.uk/blog ----
>
>
-----
UNFRAMED GRAPHICS by Lawrence Upton
42 pages; A5 paperback; colour cover
Writers Forum 978 1 84254 277 4
wfuk.org.uk/blog
----
|