I recognised it as Wordsworth as soon as I read it, Bob, as you say, the ice
skates told me. I did rack my wits a little to see if I could find another
candidate, as I thought your reference to the first major ascent a little
questionable. I can see why you made it, but I don't think of a precise
point for 'modern' English beginning (you could make a very strong argument
for Dryden's 'MackFlecknoe' as representing such a point for example,
certainly Dryden and Pope were 'modernists' in relation to the main thrust
of their immediate literary past) while of course the writers of the early
20th century saw Donne in particular as if contemporary (underneath the
thees and thous) And so on. You can certainly see a foreshadowing of
Wordsworth in both Henry Vaughan and Anne Finch, Countess of Winchilsea too.
Anyhow I don't see 'literary' time (nor its unscripted original) as being
simply linear anyhow, eddies and bobs, as it were, Bob ;)
best
dave
On 7 September 2011 17:12, Bob Grumman <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
> The ice skates told Dave Bircumshaw where I think the ascent (now replaced
> with "widening") was made. I did want to make a reader try to guess. I
> could have said, "the luminescence of the skates Wordsworth wore when
> enjoying the skating he wrote about in The Prelude,: but I don't like that
> kind of directness, usually. The visual and rhythmical "ugliness" of the
> text is a subjective matter, of course. If you mean the imagery expressed
> is ugly (I somehow don't think you mean the text looks bad on the page),
> that might be due to your not connecting to the allusion. I think in the
> large poem this will be a part of, the allusion will be more clear. Not
> that people without a background in the history of English poetry will pick
> up on it.
>
>
>
> --Bob
>
>
> ----- Original Message ----- From: "Kasper Salonen" <[log in to unmask]>
> To: <[log in to unmask]>
> Sent: Wednesday, September 07, 2011 11:57 AM
>
> Subject: Re: A Text with Request for Feedback
>
>
> And actually it's just the fact that you include a description of a place
>> or
>> time that I (and I would assume many other readers) have no referent for
>> whatsoever. Where *did* poetry in English make its first major acsent? And
>> what is that supposed to mean? These are mainly hypothetical questions
>> because, as mentioned, so far I'm not interested -- because it's a
>> somewhat
>> ugly three lines rhythmically and visually.
>>
>> KS
>>
>> On 7 September 2011 18:31, Bob Grumman <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
>>
>> Thanks, Kasper. "Luminescene" is probably gone (although I love it).
>>> Can't make you interested in it as is, but--as I said, it will be a
>>> poem-within-a-largerf-poem where it may become more interesting.
>>>
>>> --Bob
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> ----- Original Message -----
>>> From: "Kasper Salonen" <[log in to unmask]>
>>> To: <[log in to unmask]>
>>> Sent: Wednesday, September 07, 2011 10:21 AM
>>> Subject: Re: A Text with Request for Feedback
>>>
>>>
>>> > I'd say it's too concise, and needs opening (or "widening" perhaps!). >
>>> The
>>> > trouble for me is that I don't get the urge to open it myself, there
>>> isn't
>>> > enough here to intrigue me. Not to mention that I hate the word
>>> > "luminescence".
>>> >
>>> > KS
>>> >
>>> > On 6 September 2011 21:58, Bob Grumman <[log in to unmask]> >
>>> wrote:
>>> >
>>> >> the luminescence of the ice skates
>>> >> lying where poetry in English
>>> >> made its first major ascent
>>> >>
>>> >> I'd greatly appreciate feedback as to whether or not
>>> >>
>>> >> 1. it works as a poem?
>>> >>
>>> >> 2. what it means as a critical statement about the history of poetry
>>> >> in
>>> >> English is clear?
>>> >>
>>> >> 3. its meaning as a critical statement (if clear) makes sense?
>>> >>
>>> >> It is intended to be both poem, albeit a (very minor) poem-within-a-
>>> >> larger-poem, and a critical statement.
>>> >>
>>> >> --Bob
>>> >
>>>
>>>
>>
--
David Joseph Bircumshaw
"The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is
that none of it has tried to contact us."
- Calvin & Hobbes
Website and A Chide's Alphabet
http://www.staplednapkin.org.uk
The Animal Subsides http://www.arrowheadpress.co.uk/books/animal.html
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/david.bircumshaw
twitter: http://twitter.com/bucketshave
blog: http://groggydays.blogspot.com/
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