It's that problem again: how can anyone satirize this?
You seem to receive more tan the usual amount, Lawrence....
Doug
On 2011-09-07, at 7:13 AM, Lawrence Upton wrote:
> I received a letter from my bank today re the Writers Forum account
>
> From memory
>
> Dear Mr Upton
>
> From November your bank account will change.
>
> Presently you receive 0% on your credit balance. This is the notional
> amount of interest you would earn if interest were paid.
>
> From November you will receive 0% interest on your credit balance.
>
> Do not hesitate to contact us if you wish to discuss this matter.
>
> Unquote
>
> In Brave New World, the lowest grade of human operative was an Epsilon.
>
> They've slipped in a change. Nowadays everything is run by Zetas at least
> - I am inclined to say Omegas just to be sure
>
> At my train station
>
> Q Why have you locked the toilets?
>
> A We're worried they'll be vandalised
>
> Q But now we can't use them
>
> A Yes but the manager was worried they'd be vandalised and then you
> wouldn't be able to use them
>
> Q But now we can't use them anyway
>
> A Yes, but they were worried they'd be vandalised
>
> Q The sign says they're open. Why isn't there a sign saying they're closed
>
> A He didn't tell us to write a sign
>
> or I offer you the man who combines the electoral register
>
> quote from memory
>
> At present the following names are registered to vote at your address: 0
>
> If I do not hear from you by the date below, I shall remove these names
> from the register
>
> L
>
> -----
> UNFRAMED GRAPHICS by Lawrence Upton
> 42 pages; A5 paperback; colour cover
> Writers Forum 978 1 84254 277 4
> wfuk.org.uk/blog
> ----
> Lawrence Upton
> Dept of Music
> Goldsmiths, University of London
>
Douglas Barbour
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http://www.ualberta.ca/~dbarbour/
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It is natural to speak of your own weaknesses so winsomely they will seem strengths, as if everyone else is inadequate if they do not have your inadequacies.
William H. Gass
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