Thanks, gentlemen; I'll think on that
Just trying to get some things done before I go home; but my brain seems
to have left already
The advice looks well worth thinking on - when the 2 halves of me meet again
I appreciate it
L
On Thu, March 10, 2011 17:48, Douglas Barbour wrote:
> I agree, & also about that 2nd line: its the only place you fit in a
> pronoun, which moves it a bit out from the rest in terms of rhetoric. But
> the piling up of certain consonantal sounds then shifting them: yeah.
>
> Doug
> On 2011-03-10, at 10:45 AM, Halvard Johnson wrote:
>
>
>> Very good. Love the sounds. One quibble:
>> I think I'd omit the first five words of the
>> second line, maybe moving the remaining word to the following line.
>
> Douglas Barbour
> [log in to unmask]
>
> http://www.ualberta.ca/~dbarbour/
> http://eclecticruckus.wordpress.com/
>
>
> Latest books:
> Continuations (with Sheila E Murphy)
> http://www.uap.ualberta.ca/UAP.asp?LID=41&bookID=664
> Wednesdays'
> http://abovegroundpress.blogspot.com/2008/03/new-from-aboveground-press_10
> .html
>
>
> Just a late night pilgrim
> Looking for redemption in the underground.
> Lord, won't you help a late night pilgrim
> When the morning comes around.
>
>
> Tift Merritt
>
>
-----
collaborative visual work:-
http://www.poetrybeyondtext.org/upton-begbie.html
http://www.poetrybeyondtext.org/begbie-upton.html
----
Lawrence Upton
AHRC Creative Research Fellow
Dept of Music
Goldsmiths, University of London
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