Amidst commenting on this intriguing work 7 PM Wednesday when about 300000 customers in my immediate area lost electricity. Now only 300 without. I find myself more stimulated by the potential syntactical relationship between words and between phrases across lines than individual lines, however admirable some of those lines may be--particularly the 26th for me. Looking forward to reading your 26 line source and considering how outside commentary entered into your editing process. Speculating that the process of composition of some lines (which may include bits retrieved from two or more sources) will not be as transparent.
Barry
On Wed, 26 Jan 2011 23:41:00 +1100, Jill Jones <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
>Gush
>
>ambits of cells account beyond basin valley
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>barefoot sad one breaks words from harms
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>crush gold cordial
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>dew salt held in walls
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>end paper crawl to begin sung flower
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>ground make warm grasp shadow
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>hands translate in order to say
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>noises which stop night nowhere burning
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>violet interior marks attempt at continue
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>This snap samples a longer poem - of 26 lines, if you get the drift -
>that I wrote and posted as 26 separate status updates yesterday on
>facebook. The poem's lines are another set of reworked retrievals, as
>I am still sorting through years of 'stuff (and there's plenty of 'dew
>salt' here in Sydney). These lines are the ones that people either
>'liked' or commented on. I did consider posting a poem consisting of
>the lines no-one 'liked' or commented on, but this one seemed to work.
>The title is, well, the title, but specifically refers to the 21st
>line of the original longer poem - 'tears playing stone bathed to gush
>forth' - and the 26th line - 'zampillare, yes, yes, to gush forth'. No-
>one 'liked' those lines but I thought them worth mentioning in
>explanation of the title.
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>__________________________
>Jill Jones
>[log in to unmask]
>
>website: www.jilljones.com.au
>blog: rubystreet.blogspot.com
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