David Joseph Bircumshaw is apparently found of adding champagne and mustard
to his coffee.the secret is out long live Leicester!
Cheers Patrick besnowed
-----Original Message-----
From: Poetryetc: poetry and poetics [mailto:[log in to unmask]] On
Behalf Of David Bircumshaw
Sent: 20 December 2010 19:32
To: [log in to unmask]
Subject: Seasonal Greeting's from Frederick of Prussia
*Frederick the Great's
Christmas Preparation*
*Advent Offensive*
Obtain two large rubber boots (preferably same footed for inconvenience to
the lower orders. See later.) Nota Bene: not Wellingtons. Procure one quart
of rough brandy, preferably from under a Spaniard's nose at breakfast, a
magnum of any Grand Cru champagne, the more expensive the better, and two
bottles of alleged cooking sherry from *Happy Saturdays* off-licence, 95
Al-Fireis Road, Sneinton, Nottingham, near Sherwood Forest, England. Admire
the social disjunctions.
*Sankt Stockade*
Avoid agitated Spaniard. Prepare one cup of your finest, favourite, darkest,
ground coffee. Allow to drip meditatively. Scan any possible horizons for
passing galleons, map-makers or magi. Compose tome on the socio-economic
obsolescence of shepherds. Exchange a nod *avec Voltaire*.
*Herbst Enfilade*
Take one large jar of German mustard (obtainable from any local hardware
store or chemists). Paste throughout boots, liberally. Pour in coffee,
brandy, sherry and champagne, in that precise order, order is all, 's exact
precise price, dusting in between with hog hair and sawdust.
*Winter Garrison*
Impress Swabian peasant. March impressed peasant around parade-ground square
for two months in full battle-gear. *O my bombardier*. Exact price order. Be
proclaimed among remote provinces. Hunch above maps and dialects. Stalk the
borders of irreverent detail and rumbunctious gazetteers. Deny the
allegations of unnatural stars. Recite the Odes of Anachronism. Upend
Swabian and strain out winter warmer. *Waes thu hael.*
*(Frederick the Great was apparently found of adding champagne and mustard
to his coffee. I have altered the recipe, as well as other facts, somewhat.)
*
--
David Joseph Bircumshaw
Website and A Chide's Alphabet
http://www.staplednapkin.org.uk
The Animal Subsides http://www.arrowheadpress.co.uk/books/animal.html
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/david.bircumshaw
twitter: http://twitter.com/bucketshave
blog: http://groggydays.blogspot.com/
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