That I said nothing on this poem might not seem significant. I hardly ever
do, certainly not fc, usually feeling that I hsve nothing useful to say
And in this case, at first, I wasn't taken. You say "lumpy" and maybe
that's what I thought. I don't know. It wasn't a clear feeling I had.
However, the poem wouldn't leave *me and I went back to it; and by the end
of the day I had read it a number of times and liked it very much. I
didn't say so: I had lost track of time and was in a rush to get to the
only railway ticket office I know where they understand their own rules
It was, in some ways, still with me this morning, despite a hell journey,
but muffled because of the hell journey.
I do think it's time I said this: that, not quite extracted from its ore,
yet, you have a rather interesting poem, interesting here meaning
interesting and not "I don't have anything to say"
It does need more work, as you say; and having formalism and projectivism
fighting is no bad thing: you wouldn't want one to win!
Maybe take the _notes_ off _hospital notes_. They aren't notes any more
though they may have originated that way; but if you point readers to
their note attributes then you overemphasise that aspect
best I can do
L
On Thu, October 14, 2010 01:23, andrew burke wrote:
> Thank you all. Well, Doug, they are - of course - surgical stockings. I
> was a bit surprised I had to wear 'em the night before the op, but there
> you go: we are innocents led to our slaughter.
>
> It started out as a mish-mash of scribbled notes, some of which were less
> than clear - written in the semi-dark with a mind set free of its anchor
> by drugs. I typed them up, but was so disappointed in them, I left them
> ...
> until the other day I read another interview with Rae Armantrout where she
> discussed her method of composition. This encouraged me to go back to
> them and cut away the filigree and detritus. One huge surgical session
> left me hopeful there was a cohesive poem there; another two or three
> cutting sessions left me with this shape. It is still remarkably lumpy
> (especially
> when I put back the prose bits - I must work on those more) but maybe that
> is what it is meant to be. There is a formalist inside me who fights
> with the Projectivist!
>
> Are the 'best' poems often unsettling in their gestation? I find my most
> praised poems are often ones I still have issues with. Go figure.
>
> Anyone have a distinct dislike for parts or all of it? I have my armour
> on today, so feel free to fire away ...
>
> Thanks for asking, Max. I am much much better - I have been spreading
> about 8 cubic metres of mulch around our gardens since it arrived
> yesterday. I could not have even wheeled the wheelbarrow 13 or 14 weeks
> ago! Now I am enjoying it - amazing.
>
>
> On 14 October 2010 07:10, Max Richards <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
>
>
>> Tremendous, Andrew.
>> Let us know of the writing's developments, etc.
>> Trusting you are now very fit.
>> Best from Max
>>
>>
>>
>> On 13/10/10 8:56 PM, "andrew burke" <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
>>
>>
>>> *(Hoping the formatting stays steady, at least in Rich Formatting)*
>>>
>>>
>>> *łA man weeps first with his eyes.˛*
>>>
>>>
>>> *Hospital Notes July 2010 *
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> I am Bed 6GC
>>>
>>>
>>> beside the helipad.
>>
>>
>
>
> --
> Andrew
> http://hispirits.blogspot.com/
> 'Mother Waits for Father Late' republished available at
> http://www.picaropress.com/
> http://www.qlrs.com/poem.asp?id=766
> http://frankshome.org/AndrewBurke.html
>
>
--
http://www.cordite.org.au/poetry/creativecommons/poems-for-ivor-cutler-3
http://www.cordite.org.au/poetry/cc-the-remixes/the-man-who-finds-himself-amusing
"This is not a time for foolery, or compliments. It may be that both of us
are within a few minutes of death... And I, at any rate, don't propose to
die with polite insincerities in my mouth. "
C S Lewis - That Hideous Strength
---
Lawrence Upton
AHRC Creative Research Fellow
Dept of Music
Goldsmiths, University of London
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