On 5/24/10 12:55 PM, sharon brogan wrote:
> Also, this past few months have been difficult for me. My mother died.
> My next-door neighbor and friend of fourteen years died. And now, a
> very dear friend is facing more-or-less imminent death as well. My
> participation on the list has never been high, but lately I've not
> even been doing the snapshot poems.
>
You have a high tolerance for difficulty. I can't say I "envy" you,
given the circumstances, but admire that strength that inhabits you.
> I tell you this because I am about to ask you all for a personal
> favor: let this list return to a passionate but civil discussion of
> poetry and poetics, our own and that of others. Let its history -- and
> your personal, cranky histories with one another -- fade away. Keep
> the focus on poetry. If you must continue personal conversations, do
> it back-channel.
>
I recently settled a far too long-running disagreement with someone here
that wasn't even toxic anymore. It had simply turned stupid and a cause
for pretending the other was standing off in some corner wearing a
psychological bhurka. How inane can anyone get? One tries to make amends
for a wrong in which one or both of us might have participated. If
accepted, it can at least partially restore amicability and
collegiality. If not, the person who held out the hand at least "tried
to keep his side of the street clean."
There's an old Jewish midrash (I think it's midrash) that the Temple was
destroyed not by Roman troops alone but by *sinat chinam*, groundless
hatred between one Jew and another. In other words, as we treat others
so shall we be treated. It's "not [necessarily] my fault" until I become
aware of it; and then it most assuredly *is* my fault, and it's up to me
to turn awareness into the action to repair damage.
It works.
Ken
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