This is the answer that I was trying to write last night only I couldn't
find a way of wording it helpfully, thanks Deborah for doing a better
job than I would have done!
Hazel
Deborah Chinn wrote:
> I'd like to recommend a book written by Dan Goodley and his colleagues:
>
> McLaughlin J., Goodley D.A., Clavering E., Tregaskis C., Fisher P.
> 2008. "Families with disabled children: values of enabling care and
> social justice". Palgrave
>
> which illustrates some of the challenges and complexities of being a
> parent of a disabled child, and parents relationships with
> professionals. I've also been inspired by the work of Hilton Davies,
> who created the parent advisor programme in the UK. His approach is
> that asking parents to be eternally vigilant teachers and trainers of
> their disabled children puts intolerable pressure on parents. He
> feels that a key role for professionals is to offer practical and
> emotional support to parents so that they can feel in a position to
> develop their own ways of being with their children based on warm and
> loving relationships.
>
> My own experiences of working with parents of people with intellectual
> disabilities is that trying to "get parents to change" doesnt work.
> Parents most likely feel criticised and got at (I would too!). My own
> practice has been informed by systemic family therapy and solution
> focused ways of working with parents, which I have found very useful.
>
> Apart from Dan Goodley and co's work, the interrelationships between
> disabled people, their parents and professionals is under-researched,
> especially where there are cultural differences.
>
> Deborah
>
>
> ----- Original Message ----- From: "KELLY REDDEN"
> <[log in to unmask]>
> To: <[log in to unmask]>
> Sent: Thursday, April 01, 2010 5:22 PM
> Subject: Re: Experiences with parents...just so we are
> clear...moredetails
>
>
> Hello-
>
> I would like to add more specific details to clarify:
>
> -Parents not following critical advice pertaining to their
> child-meaning the parents are suppressing self stimulatory behavior by
> simply stopping it, not listening to advice as far as allowing them to
> do it or finding a suitable replacement behavior. this is dangerous
> and uncalled for, it only hurts the child.
>
> -Parents behaving irrationally or aggressively towards them-A parent
> and her new boyfriend recently attempted to extort money from my practice
>
> -Unfounded accusations towards a professional-Haven't experienced this
> one..
>
>
> -Parents missing or 'forgetting' scheduled appointments-This happened
> with a teen in desperate need of positive feedback, his mother would
> speak negatively about him in his presence -every- time I met with
> him. She also would also 'forget' about our appointments-no call no
> email. Not very considerate.
>
> -Parents telling children with autism 'don't attend university'-See
> above, the same mother
>
> -Parents speaking negatively about their own child in front of
> them-See above, same mother...getting the picture?
>
> -Parents ignoring emails and other correspondence regarding their
> child-This has happened twice, do you think its reasonable to
> repeatedly request a one hour meeting, either in person or over the
> phone to discuss your child's program....for seven months???
>
> -parents ignoring or disregarding terms and conditions signed with
> professional-This has happened 3 times so far, I try to make
> everything crystal clear for the parents in the beginning, put
> everything in writing, on my website, in person, in emails, but some
> terms are just 'ignored'.
>
> Are there professionals that 'think they know best' or ignore parents
> input??? Yes, of course. But I am not one of them, my life is
> dedicated to these children, I give them 100% of me, I have spent well
> over 30,000 euros on education, training and resources -for these
> kids-. So, dont put me in the same category with other people who
> claim to be 'experts' and really don't give a hoot about the child.
>
> And lets be realistic, parents are -people-, and no one is perfect.
> Parents can make mistakes too. I am just trying to figure out ways to
> handle these issues in a fair way so no one loses.
>
> Because the level of care and respect I give to each and every child
> and each and every parent is superior, if you have a child with
> special needs you will want me to work with them.
>
> Thank you
>
>
>
> Kelly Lynn Redden
>
> Coordinator
>
> Specialized Autism Services
>
> www.specializedautismservices.com
>
> mobile 0655906824
>
> This is an email from Specialized Autism Services. The contents of
> this email are confidential to
> the ordinary user of the email address to which it was addressed.
> No-one else may copy,
> disclose, disseminate, forward or use all or any part of it in any form.
>
>
>
> New Windows 7: Simplify what you do everyday. Find the right PC for you.
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