Doug,
Eight lines each as well. I admire the manner in which each of your lines can be read as a substantive unit in its own right (line 5 being a bit more problematic), while the 4 syntactical entities I count work across and before line breaks. The language strikes me as at least doubly charged with meaning.
Barry
On Thu, 1 Apr 2010 11:32:52 -0600, Douglas Barbour <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
>a chorale hidden
>sweet voices rise
>a tiny ribbon of smoke
>escaping from some cavern
>s high ceiling outer
>walls supreme
>manifest will
>silence that song
>
>
>(actually, a bit like Barry, I wrote this while listening to Tim
>Lilburn's reading at the UofA yesterday afternoon; but aside from
>somehow being ignited by Lilburn's theo-eco-neoPlatonic-poem for
>voices, it has nothing to do with his poem sequence; something
>'political' in the air though...)
>
>Doug
>
>Douglas Barbour
>[log in to unmask]
>
>http://www.ualberta.ca/~dbarbour/
>
>Latest books:
>Continuations (with Sheila E Murphy)
>http://www.uap.ualberta.ca/UAP.asp?LID=41&bookID=664
>Wednesdays'
>http://abovegroundpress.blogspot.com/2008/03/new-from-aboveground-press_10.html
>
> The secret
>
>which got lost neither hides
>nor reveals itself, it shows forth
>
>tokens.
>
> Charles Olson
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