Desmond, you do tend to go on. And on. And on.
Have you thought of consulting an editor about your volubility problem?
Robin
----- Original Message -----
From: "Desmond Swords" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Sunday, March 07, 2010 1:15 AM
Subject: Re: Poems on Todd Swift's blog
That's it. You've seen the error of your ways and have begun to play the
game as it should be. Eyewear is a very prestigious mainstream
avant-freindly blog. You know that don't you? And that Swift is one of the
most able theoreticians and commentators on, not only British poetic
culture, but the global one. Your playing with the big kids now, who take
seriously their games and status in the playground. Do right by us, learn
how to ...you know what I am taking about, and we'll do right by you.
It's about time you grasped the pointlessness of nailing yourself to a
flimsy Poundian cross and dropped the act to come on board of the MS
express. You say nice things about the right kind of people, P.L.U's, people
like us, and just watch what a nod and wink can bring in the way of kudos,
respect and all the sorts of top-table opportunities you don't find in the
staff rooms of under-seige English depts performing at the arse-end of UK
poetry.
I've dropped the act myself, started being more compliant with the tenor in
one's spam. From now on I'm taking po-biz seriously and strategically
starting to blurb whoever i think it is of poetic benefit to do so, for me
personally on a comedic level, as a pretty unhappy person not getting on in
UK Poetry because i am discriminated against due to my popularity in the
states of lexical prejudice in things like 'colour' and color, pavement and
sidewalk, the john or the jacks, labour or labor, and culturally slipping
into a disadvantage of being the absent other who has been very much rent
apart by the collapse of capitalism, dream and fiction ....I dunno.
What i do know is i'm stopping being stupid as a cultural agitator and
starting getting crafty, being nice, making sure to say the right things to
the right people, embracing the use of emoticoms as tools for practical
advancement of my career, familiarizing oneself with the html and internet
shorthand that will allow people to feel comfortable about having me on
board their freinds lists and as an ally there to back them up with an
affirmative one-liner agreeing with 'em 'what Jeff said' and, by deploying
the correct smilies in innovative and interesting ways, work a way up the
ladder of online success. Who knows, one day I might even appear in the
Manchester Review. Hit the big time if my strategy of sucking up to
McAuliffe and that mob, pays off and the toadying gets me the official
sanction from a rag connected to she I have decided to put at the top of my
to-say-nice-things-about-list, Dame Carol and Sir Andrew.
Who knows, one day I might even get some minor recognition of my services to
UK poetry, if I play the game right and become a dependable blurbist
promoting the right kind of poetry for the right kind of audience, serving
others instead of serving one's selfishness, embracing the kind of poetry
that makes the UK great, the straight-up lyric eyes who rhyme and don't mess
about with anything pointlessly experimental or try anything too foreign.
English is what I speak, England's where I'm from and I'm quitting the Irish
scene, because it's just a waste of space Jeff.
It bores me. It's too insular, the poets are not that exciting and there's
no money in it, so from now on, I want to be known as English and ask
forgiveness from the the people I foolishly took against when starting out,
conned by the Irish into saying fairly tasteless things about the poets I
was jealous of in England who, knowing I could not compare with them because
they were so much more classy than me, I decided, foolishly and impelled
only by shallow self-interest, to compete with them and learnt the hard way,
they're just too good for me. So, I am asking Todd as a very influential
representitive of English poetry, please can I come back home?
I also wish to apologise to everyone I have offended and can only ask you
please, please give me another chance. There's no excuse for going against
the grain because I was jealous of you all, and I promise if you do extend
another go my way, I will compose only excellent and supportive comments
about you personally and your work.
Sorry, I was a div, please, please do not let this affect the outcome of my
facebook request.
(:->
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