> Robin, 'scuse my last email - written before I'd read yours below, and
> only in response to your earlier one.
> Jamie
Finally some comments on the Armitage poem, Jamie.
First point (and yes, I *am a pedant, and proud of it, Alison <g>), let's
reattach the title to the poem, as it would seem to be relevant. "Night
Shift".
So we have a context, but ...
Once again I have missed you by moments
OK, competant rhythm, but choice of a deliberately limited and prosaic
register. What does this remind me of? Oh, yes, Movement poetry. (This
poem could have been written any time since the fifties, and was written
much more frequently then.)
Followed by:
steam hugs the rim of the just-boiled kettle
To my ear, that hovers just on the edge of cliche.
The rest of the poem is much the same -- not particularly bad, not
particularly good (but what's up with those breaks across line endings and
between the two-line sections? I couldn't see the point, other than a mild
gesture towards avant-guardism).
But it's the last two lines that confirm my opinion of what's gone before --
"the air, still hung with spores of your hairspray" is for me easily the
best line in the poem, but it's followed by, "body-heat stowed in the
crumpled duvet," which lapses back into triteness.
So not, finally, something that would particularly want to make me seek out
more of Armitage's poems. Was it Peter Porter who said, "Finally we are
condemned by our lack of talent"? If you put this poem beside Porter's
poems in _The Cost of Seriousness_ (and there is an overlap of concerns
between the two) then this is simply not worth bothering with.
Against that, the strongest side of the poem is the rhythms it uses --
Armitage is actually rather good there. Or at least competant. But what a
waste, to link a decent ear for rhythm with lame and insufficient imagery
and language.
My two cents' worth.
Robin
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