Dear all,
Personally I find it is productive to confront things with people but to do so in a non-hostile manner. I try to think to myself all people are capable of learning and reflecting, but feeling attacked or defensive is not the best way to be learn or to be open-minded. I also try to remember that I should never assume I know best, as that could lead to arrogance.
When I have come across people saying prejudiced things, I tell them directly (but not aggressively) that I don't agree with what they have said, and explain why. I try to put a few points to them that may help them to see things differently and to consider and reflect on it. That way, one is not condoning their view through silence, or putting them into a corner where they won't contemplate changing their views. I find that sometimes the person then qualifies what they have said, or tries to explain that they didn't mean to be prejudiced, why they said it, etc. This can open up a space for further discussion - we may end up still differing or we may make some progress.
Chris
Dr. Christine McCourt
Professor, Anthropology & Health
Director, Centre for research in Midwifery & Childbirth (CeMaC)
Faculty of Health and Human Sciences
Thames Valley University
Paragon House
Boston Manor Road
Brentford, TW8 9GA
Tel: 0208 209 4287 (admin 4312)
Skype: chrismccourt
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From: Health of minority ethnic communities in the UK [[log in to unmask]] On Behalf Of Jez Buffin [[log in to unmask]]
Sent: 05 February 2010 15:33
To: [log in to unmask]
Subject: Re: help! how do I deal with this?
Personally I think you need to confront it. I would ring them up and say that you were really shocked to find out that they held views like these. It is bad enough that they hold such views, but the fact that they feel that it is OK to express them in writing is even worse. Not to respond gives the impression that you agree. You may upset or offend them by confronting them, but frankly they have already offended and upset you, and clearly they didn't give your feelings any thought.
Jez
Jez Buffin
Associate Head
International School for Communities, Rights and Inclusion
University of Central Lancashire
Preston
PR1 2HE
Tel: 01772 892780
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>>> Paula Mcgee <[log in to unmask]> 2/4/2010 6:33 pm >>>
Hi Jane, thanks for your message. The problem is that we cannot chose our relatives and some of them go out of their way to annoy/embarrass us. Personally I would ignore it. Unless you see this person face to face a response could make matters even worse. File it away for reference – and send those Matalan vouchers next year!
Regards Paula
From: Health of minority ethnic communities in the UK [mailto:[log in to unmask]] On Behalf Of Jane Fountain
Sent: 04 February 2010 14:29
To: [log in to unmask]
Subject: help! how do I deal with this?
Dear listmembers
can I have your suggestions on how to respond to this (not very close) relation to whom I gave a Marks and Spencer gift voucher for Christmas? Their thank-you card included the following (with the name of the ethnic group omitted):
I took it [the voucher] with me a couple of days after Christmas but couldn't get near anything for all the [ethnic group] pushing everyone around to grab arms full of clothes and shoes. God do they get on my wick, so ignorant. I then went in the food department - not a soul around and no [ethnic group], but I didn't want to spend my voucher on food.
While I have few problems dealing with this sort of comment when writing a report about, for instance, racism and lack of cultural competence in health services, I am finding it difficult to work out how to deal with this instance.
Your suggestions would be much appreciated.
Jane
Jane Fountain
Professor of Substance Use Research
International School for Communities, Rights and Inclusion (ISCRI)
University of Central Lancashire
Preston, UK
tel: +44 (0)1772 892 780
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