You rebel, you.
2009/7/2 Max Richards <[log in to unmask]>
> Thanks, Judy, and other responders.
>
> As for the phrase lovey-dovey, far from deleting it, I have in mind
> repeating
> it...towards the end:
>
> in her own private -
> lovey-dovey? -
> dreaming.
>
> Max
>
> Quoting Judy Prince <[log in to unmask]>:
>
> > A thoroly good'un, Max, beautifully developed.
> > Power built fast with "It was my dream,/ and soon enough/ she pointed
> this
> > out."
> >
> > Your dreamy-amorphous early bits stop sharp with: "our bed was still
> > king-sized." From that point to the end, the man came to realise his
> > bedmate as his 'partner'---one who also had secret dreams and longings.
> > Well prepared by many other memorable strong lines, the ending works
> magic:
> >
> >
> > "held / quietly as if unconscious / in her own private dreaming."
> >
> > Best,
> >
> > Judy
> >
> > 2009/7/1 Max Richards <[log in to unmask]>
> >
> > > Winter Dream
> > >
> > > I dreamed I was young again
> > > or youngish
> > > and a lovely girl loved me.
> > >
> > > It was all perfectly
> > > lovey-dovey –
> > > intimacy occurred
> > >
> > > and kept occurring
> > > in private and to my
> > > surprise in public.
> > >
> > > Nobody much noticed,
> > > except us;
> > > it was unaccustomed
> > >
> > > unselfconsciousness
> > > we felt and
> > > contentedly discussed.
> > >
> > > It was my dream,
> > > and soon enough
> > > she pointed this out.
> > >
> > > This stirred me from my sleep
> > > back to dark winter:
> > > our bed was still king-sized,
> > >
> > > the hot-water-bottle between us
> > > was lukewarm, the aches and pains
> > > of my old age resumed;
> > >
> > > she was here, no dream,
> > > nor indeed yet old, held
> > > quietly as if unconscious
> > >
> > > in her own private dreaming.
> > >
> > >
> > > Wednesday 1 July
> > > Max Richards
> > > in midwinter Melbourne
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > ------------------------------------------------------------
> > > This email was sent from Netspace Webmail: http://www.netspace.net.au
> > >
> >
>
>
>
>
>
> ------------------------------------------------------------
> This email was sent from Netspace Webmail: http://www.netspace.net.au
>
--
Andrew
http://hispirits.blogspot.com/
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