Well, perhaps I am a natural dissenter, but this poem doesn't do it for me
because of the cutesy abstraction of reversing the obvious image -
undressing the night. An original and imaginative concrete description of
her actions in the night would achieve a far greater emotional response in
this reader, for one. Martin is a gentle man and a gentleman - he has
filtered the gently erotic image through his sensibilities, shyly. Pull
aside the curtain, Martin, and write it with passion!
Andrew
2009/2/19 Millicent Accardi <[log in to unmask]>
> I LOVE this poem Martin!
>
>
> Cheers,
>
> Millicent
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Sheila Murphy <[log in to unmask]>
> To: [log in to unmask]
> Sent: Wed, 18 Feb 2009 8:46 am
> Subject: Re: Snap - what she does
>
>
>
>
> lovely poem, Martin, and thank you! sheila
>
> On Wed, Feb 18, 2009 at 3:20 AM, Martin Dolan <[log in to unmask]
> >wrote:
>
> > she undresses the dark
> > smoothly, without hurry
> > as though she were alone
> >
> > she undresses the dark
> > there beside the window
> > and stands in the moonlight
> >
> > she undresses the dark
> > by touch, without looking
> > and night falls to the floor
> >
>
--
Andrew
http://hispirits.blogspot.com/
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