Dear All,
Just a little something to bring a smile to your face on this cold winters
day (for those of us in the UK at least!) courtesy of the Records Management
Society.
The following item in this months RMS Bulletin was penned by Nicola Franklin
([log in to unmask]) and was the runner up in a Network of
Government Library and Information Specialists (NGLIS) competition to write
an information-related article in the style of a famous author.
Nicola chose to write in the style of Terry Pratchett, author of the
Diskworld series, and as you will see - she did a brilliant job!
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Reports, Reports and Records
====================
"What do you mean, we don't know whether we've killed him yet or not?!" the
head of the assassin's guild low but deadly voice cut in to the
conversation.
"Um, well. you see..." started Griven
"It's like this." began Sleeth
"Spit it out one of you - Griven, tell me exactly why we don't know whether
we've fulfilled this contract for our esteemed client Mr Bellweather"
demanded the Guild Master.
"Right. errm you see young Swafforth was given the job, but then his mother
got taken ill, and then she went and died, so he had to go off, and now no
one knows where he was with things, you should see his desk, it's a right
mess."
"What about the contract actualisation progress report he should have filed?
"Um, well. we can't find it"
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU CAN'T FIND IT!!" When the Guild Master started
shouting, you knew someone's head was about to roll - literally.
"It's the filing, sir" squeaked Sleeth "it's in a bit of a mess; well no one
really understands the system."
"So what do you propose doing about it, Sleeth, since you know so much about
it?"
"Me sir?!"
"Yes. You."
"Erm.I suppose we could get a Librarian, like they have at Unseen
University?"
"Librarians look after books, you idiot, try again" snarled the Guild Master
"There must be a name for someone who looks after files, keeps them tidy,
and, well, stuff" said Griven. "maybe I'll ask the Librarian, he should
know"
"All you'll get out of him is 'ook', you should know that" the Guild Master
shook his head. "Right then, you're appointed Sleeth, you're our new
manager of records of what's happened... no, that's too long a title. Fine,
you can be the records manager."
Sleeth stared at the Guild Master for a long moment. You could tell his
brain was working feverishly, trying to think of a way out of this dilemma
suddenly thrust upon him.
"Er" he ventured "but I came to the Guild to learn to be an assassin, sir"
"Are you questioning my authority, Sleeth?" the Guild Master enquired in a
pleasant, conversational voice, as his eyes narrowed dangerously.
"NO!!" he shouted. "No, of course not, sir" Sleeth continued in a more
normal voice.
"Good" said the Guild Master, "now just make sure all those files are
organised by tomorrow lunchtime, and send me Swafforth's contract
actualisation progress report by the end of the day" and he stalked off down
the corridor towards his office.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
...after that all I can say is - "Well done Nicola!"
For this and other exciting records management stories check out the latest
edition of the RMS Bulletin - coming through a letterbox near you soon.
See http://www.rms-gb.org.uk/membership for membership details.
Best wishes to you all for 2009
Paul
RMS Chair
For any technical queries re JISC please email [log in to unmask]
For any content based queries, please email [log in to unmask]
|