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EAST-WEST-RESEARCH  January 2009

EAST-WEST-RESEARCH January 2009

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Subject:

Europe gas crisis prompts jokes in Russia and Ukraine

From:

"Serguei A. Oushakine" <[log in to unmask]>

Reply-To:

Serguei A. Oushakine

Date:

Sun, 18 Jan 2009 14:02:21 -0500

Content-Type:

text/plain

Parts/Attachments:

Parts/Attachments

text/plain (69 lines)

Europe gas crisis prompts jokes in Russia, Ukraine

AFP

MOSCOW, Jan 16 2009-As the prolonged energy 
crisis between Moscow and Kiev shows no signs of 
easing, jokes about a dispute that has left 
Europe freezing have begun making the rounds in both Russia and Ukraine.

Telling jokes about major issues of the day is a 
time-honoured tradition in the region, where 
people relied on their "anekdoty" for good cheer 
in Soviet times and the humour can provide a 
helpful insight into popular thinking.

Here are some jokes making the rounds on Russian and Ukrainian websites:

-- News from March 6, 2009: Gazprom has offered 
to sell Ukraine gas for 3,500 dollars per 1,000 
cubic metres. The management of Ukraine's 
Naftogaz says the optimal price is 50 dollars. The talks are continuing.

-- They say Naftogaz will lodge a complaint 
against Russia with the Stockholm Tribunal.

- So will Russia be put against the wall?

- Unlikely. Ukraine, as always, will refuse to pay for the bullet.

-- Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin and 
Belarussian President Alexander Lukashenko are 
roasting Ukrainian President Viktor Yushchenko on a skewer.

Lukashenko asks: "Vladimir Vladimirovich, why are 
you turning the skewer so quickly? He won't be cooked well enough."

Putin: "Hmmm. When I rotate it slowly, he steals the coal."

-- It's New Year's Eve -- the day before the 
expected cutoff of Russian gas supplies to 
Ukraine after talks between Moscow and Kiev 
collapse. A Ukrainian anchorman announces:

Dear television viewers and radio listeners! We 
kindly ask you to put away any heavy and cutting 
objects which can harm your television and radio 
sets: we are beginning the broadcast of the 
President's New Year's address to the nation.

-- A plane carrying Ukrainian President Viktor 
Yushchenko, Ukrainian Prime Minister Yulia 
Tymoshenko and pro-Russian opposition politician 
Viktor Yanukovych is flying over Ukrainian territory.

Yushchenko: I will now drop hope for the future 
on all Ukrainians and will become the most respected man in the country.

Tymoshenko: And I will drop a promise to pay each 
client of the savings bank an additional thousand 
hryvnias and will earn even more respect.

Yanukovych: And I will throw the two of you 
overboard and a monument to me will be erected in my lifetime.

-- Tymoshenko honestly warned Ukrainians that 
they will have a very difficult year in 2009, as 
well as 2010 and the next 40 years until she 
leads the people of Ukraine out of the crisis!

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