Europe gas crisis prompts jokes in Russia, Ukraine
AFP
MOSCOW, Jan 16 2009-As the prolonged energy
crisis between Moscow and Kiev shows no signs of
easing, jokes about a dispute that has left
Europe freezing have begun making the rounds in both Russia and Ukraine.
Telling jokes about major issues of the day is a
time-honoured tradition in the region, where
people relied on their "anekdoty" for good cheer
in Soviet times and the humour can provide a
helpful insight into popular thinking.
Here are some jokes making the rounds on Russian and Ukrainian websites:
-- News from March 6, 2009: Gazprom has offered
to sell Ukraine gas for 3,500 dollars per 1,000
cubic metres. The management of Ukraine's
Naftogaz says the optimal price is 50 dollars. The talks are continuing.
-- They say Naftogaz will lodge a complaint
against Russia with the Stockholm Tribunal.
- So will Russia be put against the wall?
- Unlikely. Ukraine, as always, will refuse to pay for the bullet.
-- Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin and
Belarussian President Alexander Lukashenko are
roasting Ukrainian President Viktor Yushchenko on a skewer.
Lukashenko asks: "Vladimir Vladimirovich, why are
you turning the skewer so quickly? He won't be cooked well enough."
Putin: "Hmmm. When I rotate it slowly, he steals the coal."
-- It's New Year's Eve -- the day before the
expected cutoff of Russian gas supplies to
Ukraine after talks between Moscow and Kiev
collapse. A Ukrainian anchorman announces:
Dear television viewers and radio listeners! We
kindly ask you to put away any heavy and cutting
objects which can harm your television and radio
sets: we are beginning the broadcast of the
President's New Year's address to the nation.
-- A plane carrying Ukrainian President Viktor
Yushchenko, Ukrainian Prime Minister Yulia
Tymoshenko and pro-Russian opposition politician
Viktor Yanukovych is flying over Ukrainian territory.
Yushchenko: I will now drop hope for the future
on all Ukrainians and will become the most respected man in the country.
Tymoshenko: And I will drop a promise to pay each
client of the savings bank an additional thousand
hryvnias and will earn even more respect.
Yanukovych: And I will throw the two of you
overboard and a monument to me will be erected in my lifetime.
-- Tymoshenko honestly warned Ukrainians that
they will have a very difficult year in 2009, as
well as 2010 and the next 40 years until she
leads the people of Ukraine out of the crisis!
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