This one is making me work, Judy (that's by way of comment, not
complaint). It works well for me allusively and playing more on the
affective than the cognitive side. For me, it does some good things with
memory, regret and hesitation/opportunity. 'with the perigee moon/on
your shoes' is wonderful.
I think the work is in reconciling the images. Probably a bad habit on
my part, reconciling the images, anyway.
Nevertheless, I think the alligator may be working against the terrarium
and the goldfish. And the 'everyone' and the 'you' don't quite seem to fit.
Sorry if this response is a bit random. I'll let the poem sit for a
while and see what else it does.
Regards
Martin
> Let's see if this one gets through. Comments appreciated [well, the nice
> ones anyway], however brief:
>
>
> Almost Closing Time
> an alligator handbag writes my biography
> for sale
> a string of emotion knots my fingers
>
> I hide in the terrarium
> ivy ruffles and woodchips
> pressed against the glass
>
> you come with the perigee moon
> on your shoes
> call me your mannequin
> of humidified vapour
> a silk and rayon blend
>
> you reach down to me, the goldfish
> grown to fit your bowl
>
> if you tame me
> you will see crocodile teeth
> and cracking leather
>
> no, we will wait for stars' closing
> sweep the janitor into our file cabinet
> hand out gift certificates
> in red envelopes with preprinted fames
>
> everyone will leave this place in love
> only if you have a mouth that comforts mine
>
> -------------------
> Judy Prince
>
>
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