Hey, Doug, I'm looking for TOUGH criticism [ok, maybe not so tough <g>]:
exactly what movement do you see here? I see various things and attitudes
and 'conclusions', and the words keep making me work out what I feel and
think. They seem to be challenging me to understand my own words and images
further.
Doesn't it happen to you, too, that you write a poem, seeming to capture
your 'feel' of the moment---about deeply emotional, complex experiences.
And as you revise, you come to understand your feelings and thoughts
_more_----and often differently. A kind of self-understanding through
writing and rewriting. Like keeping a journal.
Thanks, Doug,
Judy
2008/10/6 Douglas Barbour <[log in to unmask]>
> Yeah, I 'see' the movement through.
>
> A sonnet, BTW, but not for purists I suppose....
>
> Doug
> On 5-Oct-08, at 9:04 PM, Judy Prince wrote:
>
> Here's a revised version---not Sufi, not especially 'mystical', but
>> perhaps
>> more easily understood. Comments welcomed.
>> Judy
>>
>> SIDELINED
>>
>
> Douglas Barbour
> [log in to unmask]
>
> http://www.ualberta.ca/~dbarbour/
>
> Latest books:
> Continuations (with Sheila E Murphy)
> http://www.uap.ualberta.ca/UAP.asp?LID=41&bookID=664
> Wednesdays'
>
> http://abovegroundpress.blogspot.com/2008/03/new-from-aboveground-press_10.html
>
> bleary with hashish at a ghazal dud show
> in Kurdistan, soaring Muslim melodies
> over a smoked-out Jamaican one drop
>
> Brian Francis Slattery
>
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