Hi David,
I'd say it is a good "allusion to a sonnet." What I particularly like is the
ethereity of the writing, its imprecision where the contraries stand one
close to the other without obliterating one another, a sort of watery light
that passes by without being reflected upon any hard surface but passes
through along with the passing of years.
On Tue, Aug 12, 2008 at 11:47 AM, David Bircumshaw <
[log in to unmask]> wrote:
> This is a provisional thing. I'd welcome constructive criticism,
> particularly about the last line. Otherwise, it is a thing of echoes,
> as we all are. Worried about an implied Platonism in my post title
> btw.
>
> Yrs
>
> 60's man looking back
>
>
> Mr W.S '68
>
> We wondered about our invulnerability
> in that eternal hungering summer. At times
> rare coins appeared, out of the sun's hat,
> in our infallible pockets, but then at a
>
> quarter before the first swish of night,
> or when you looked up suddenly circumspect
> at the pouring of tea, it seemed as if
> a hole appeared just in the bottom left corner
>
> of an all-seeming, whirled. Or that flash
> photographs snared us, to slot twin
> brittle negatives in the tenderness of heads.
>
> Earth swung, on the sun's string. Years
> clambered upon our faces and what was doubt
> followed as wonder wandered in yet out.
>
>
>
> --
> David Bircumshaw
> Website and A Chide's Alphabet
> http://homepage.ntlworld.com/david.bircumshaw/
> The Animal Subsides http://www.arrowheadpress.co.uk/books/animal.html
> Leicester Poetry Society: http://www.poetryleicester.co.uk
>
--
Anny Ballardini
http://annyballardini.blogspot.com/
http://www.fieralingue.it/modules.php?name=poetshome
http://www.moriapoetry.com/ebooks.html
I Tell You: One must still have chaos in one to give birth to a dancing
star!
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