Thanks, Max. I think I agree about the alternative set-out.
I was initially disposed to react against 'traditionalism', but it's a
fair cop. Probably could apply to a fair bit of my stuff.
Regards
Martin
> a packed, nutritious poem aurally, visually and metaphorically ... none the
> worse for its traditionalism.
>
> I'd like it to be set out more spaciously...
>
> Max
>
> Quoting Martin Dolan <[log in to unmask]>:
>
>
>> Morning settles glumly into afternoon
>> and mountains hunch, recalcitrant and dumb
>> under a weight of insistent wind.
>>
>
>
>> In blue-green layers the trees, like chipped paint,
>> wait for a sluice of rain, a polishing
>> of sunlight. Clouds edge past, bit players
>> reluctant to hog the stage. Their chorus
>> has no speaking part; they mime commentary
>> on the day’s actions, then exit right.
>>
>
>
>> The wind remains the protagonist, ranting
>> and posturing, filling ears with bluster,
>> reaching out to squeeze faces with cold.
>>
>
>
>> There is nothing to be taken from this
>> so we turn our backs without applause
>> as the wind pushes dusk up the mountains.
>>
>>
>
>
>
>
>
>
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