I'm a bit uncomfortable with the ending... it seems kind of demanding.
Perhaps stop at "light enough"?
Otherwise, I think it's beautiful.
Janet
2008/6/25 andrew burke <[log in to unmask]>:
> An old friend of mine died this week, and i am reading this poem at
> his funeral on friday:
>
>
> (itlaics) The limits of my language are the limits of my world. (close
> italics) Wittgenstein
>
>
>
> As bit players, the limits
> of everyday activity
> are the limits of our lives. You are
> half out the door, going
> who knows where. Perhaps you can
> tell us when we meet again.
> We don't expect cards or letters,
> emails or texts, and only our
> limited senses would ask for
> photos of the other side.
>
> Did you leave your watch behind?
> I picture Sue running
> after you, shouting, 'You forgot
> your watch, you forgot your watch.'
> Time is only for us now,
> empty arms of the clock
> hold us back from joining you.
> When you were sick
> and tired of it all, you left. I can
> understand that. Mind the step,
> wipe your feet. I expect we will follow you
> in time. They chisel years
> on tombstones, don't they, yet facts
> are putty in historians' hands after deeds
> are done. It's a variety show, all this song and dance.
> Total it up: More love than hate,
> more laughter than tears. Do you need
> a torch? Or is that light at the end of the tunnel
> light enough? Perhaps you can send us
> a clue or two, telling us, What happens next?
> Eh? Tell me that.
>
>
>
>
> As usual, all criticisms gratefully received.
>
> --
> Andrew
> http://hispirits.blogspot.com/
> http://www.flickr.com/photos/aburke/
>
--
Janet Jackson <[log in to unmask]>
www.proximity.webhop.net (Poetry)
www.myspace.com/poetjj (Includes occasional arts & culture blog)
The Line Mine, bulletin board for Perth poetry & spoken word:
[log in to unmask]
groups.yahoo.com/group/thelinemine
Breastfeeding info & help: www.breastfeeding.asn.au
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