I thought after commenting about Prynne might be a good time to work on this
poem ;-) but I'm still not satisfied with lines 6 and 7 and particularly not
with 'extension' and 'meatsweat' which are too orange. (Words with a lot of
'e' sounds in them always seem orange to me... anyone else experience this
kind of synesthesia?)
In this poem my expression is tightly constrained by the form the poem has
taken. Finding the one perfect word can take days or years.
*breath*
brush with that nightskin this dayskin.
tangential coatmerge. totem furs.
chimpgirl. panther.
chill chubby sunmemory, thinlimbed mist.
dimlysensed. vibrational. suspended.
extension. locus.
taint inspiration, meatsweat droplets.
turning. pacing. turning. pacing. focus.
flash flood of star-mangled breath
just outside the scent markers of the gang boss
just outside the territory of the tribe
as they sleep. snoring. gone. I alert
both eyes scanning
skin stretched wide
--
Janet Jackson <[log in to unmask]>
www.proximity.webhop.net (Poetry)
www.myspace.com/poetjj (Includes occasional arts & culture blog)
The Line Mine, bulletin board for Perth poetry & spoken word:
[log in to unmask]
groups.yahoo.com/group/thelinemine
Breastfeeding info & help: www.breastfeeding.asn.au
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