Yeah, that works ("messenger"), esp since you'd used "bring" earlier in the
poem. Dunno wot others think, but to me "harbinger" sounds blank,
hackneyed, kind of like "shards", so often used in poems.
It would near-ruin my brain to try thinking up a nother line for the one
we're talking about! Yet I suspect I'd settle at last on a Wild Bit, a
bump, a nudge, a burp that forces itself in and argues---the line that other
lines realise they can't live without. Ah poetry, the damned Demanding
Thing! ........so it goes......and goes.....and goes.
(I also love some of the descriptive bits in the "Full Moon info" paragraph
you added.)
Judy
----- Original Message -----
From: "sharon brogan" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Monday, April 21, 2008 1:05 PM
Subject: Re: Pink Moon
curious: why not 'harbinger'?
how about 'messenger'?
and -- I forgot to add the Full Moon info: Apr. 20, 6:25 a.m. EDT —
Full Pink Moon. The grass pink or wild ground phlox is one of the
earliest widespread flowers of the spring. Other names were the Full
Sprouting Grass Moon, the Egg Moon, and — among coastal tribes — the
Full Fish Moon, when the shad came upstream to spawn.
http://www.space.com/spacewatch/080118-ns-moon-names.html
On Mon, Apr 21, 2008 at 10:38 AM, judy prince <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
> Like Ole Mole (I think it was), I don't go a bundle on "harbinger". Yeah,
> K, "bringer" works better . . . unless Sharon can come up with a sub word
> or line. But I love the packed power of all the rest, wouldnae change a
> bit.
>
> Keep us well supplied with your poems, Sharon---of any kind.
>
> Best,
>
> Judy
>
> ----- Original Message ----- From: "kasper salonen" <[log in to unmask]>
> To: <[log in to unmask]>
> Sent: Monday, April 21, 2008 8:38 AM
> Subject: Re: Pink Moon
>
>
>
>
>
>
> > yes, how about 'bringer of spring'?
> > an article before 'crow', since you have one before all the other nouns?
> > the end is a little bland, I got a sort of minor 'so what' reaction.
> > there's a drama that needn't be there, it undermines the imagery I
> > think.
> >
> > another great moon-poem though. I dug immensely
> >
> > KS
> >
> > On 20/04/2008, sharon brogan <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
> >
> > > Pink Moon, Egg Moon,
> > > you bring snow
> > > and crow complaining
> > > from the spruce tree.
> > > You bury the crocus.
> > > You bend the trees down.
> > > Grass Moon, Fish Moon,
> > > harbinger of spring,
> > > why are you so cold?
> > >
> > >
> > > --
> > >
> > >
> > > ~ SB | http://www.sbpoet.com | =^..^=
> > >
> > >
> >
> >
>
--
~ SB | http://www.sbpoet.com | =^..^=
|