thanks P & D
I take it, Doug, you just generally think the first two stanzas are too
verbose?
There are some words that are there mainly for the sake of rhythm, I
guess... and possibly I was trying to contrast the messy complexity of
'reality' with the clean simplicity of dream. Now that I think about it!
Janet
On 26/03/2008, Douglas Barbour <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
>
> I liked the last stanza Janet, but wasnt sure if every word of the
> first 2 was necessary (tho also not sure which ones to cut).
>
> Doug
>
> On 25-Mar-08, at 8:55 PM, Janet Jackson wrote:
>
> > This wasn't meant to be so... ewww... but it took on a life of its
> > own.
> > Don't take it too literally, ok!
>
>
> Douglas Barbour
> [log in to unmask]
>
> http://www.ualberta.ca/~dbarbour/
>
> Latest books:
> Continuations (with Sheila E Murphy)
> http://www.uap.ualberta.ca/UAP.asp?LID=41&bookID=664
> Wednesdays'
>
> http://abovegroundpress.blogspot.com/2008/03/new-from-aboveground-press_10.html
>
> to rid me of
> the ugh in
> thought
> i spell anew
> weave the world
> out of the or
> binary
>
> bpNichol
>
--
Janet Jackson <[log in to unmask]>
www.proximity.webhop.net / www.myspace.com/poetjj
The Line Mine, bulletin board for Perth poetry & spoken word:
[log in to unmask]
groups.yahoo.com/group/thelinemine
Breastfeeding info & help: www.breastfeeding.asn.au
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