Sharon - I loved everything but the leather boots and whip bit. It seems
almost a cliche. And the end 'unzip my skin' and fold it over a chair is
wonderful. If fetishes must be known, I'm a black-lace-and-silk man myself.
Andrew
On 05/02/2008, Anny Ballardini <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
>
> Since you are asking Sharon...
> You are you (this is funny) in the closing stanzas:
>
> Oh, you want me to
> unzip my skin
> for you?
>
> Here, let me
> fold it
> onto this chair.
>
> Happy now?
> I would say that this is a typical poem of yours, the previous stanzas are
> needed to create the necessary background for you to convey what "your
> muse
> or God" (Borges' words) want you to write.
> And Welcome back,
>
> Anny
> On Feb 4, 2008 7:23 PM, sharon brogan <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
>
> > I began this poem, a response to a Read Write Poem prompt: clothes --
> just
> > as I was getting sick. Worked on it some more and posted it last night.
> >
> > I thought it was one kind of poem, but my readers (at least those who
> have
> > commented) think it's an entirely different sort of poem.
> >
> > I'm interested in what you think:
> >
> > Make the Woman
> >
> > Let me put on
> > this blazer
> > with brooch,
> >
> > pull back my hair
> > into a tight
> > knot.
> >
> > There.
> > Will that
> > do?
> >
> > Perhaps you'd prefer
> > this red silk
> > dress
> >
> > bare legs
> > and spiked
> > heels
> >
> > or this flowery
> > innocent
> > shirtwaist?
> >
> > No? This strapless
> > tube, then
> > you can see
> >
> > the ring
> > in my
> > navel. Pull.
> >
> > You long
> > for leather
> > and high boots
> >
> > with a whip?
> > Even now
> > you're in charge.
> >
> > Oh, you want me to
> > unzip my skin
> > for you?
> >
> > Here, let me
> > fold it
> > onto this chair.
> >
> > Happy now?
> >
> > --
> >
> >
> > ~ SB | http://www.sbpoet.com | =^..^=
> >
>
>
>
> --
> Anny Ballardini
> http://annyballardini.blogspot.com/
> http://www.fieralingue.it/modules.php?name=poetshome
> http://www.moriapoetry.com/ebooks.html
> I Tell You: One must still have chaos in one to give birth to a dancing
> star!
>
--
Andrew
http://hispirits.blogspot.com/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/aburke/
|